Amanda J Mollett
Bio
First, and foremost I am a mom…always . I am a proud mom of a graduate & artist. I am a author/writer and a journalist. I have multiple certificates in journalism and various writing certificates such as novel writing and creative writing.
Stories (128/0)
Dear Mom, I Am Sorry I Left
Dear Mom, I never got to tell you this, but I made a mistake many years ago. I wish I have told you this before I lost you. And to some point I did tell you about this secret of sorts, however, I did not express to you how much I regretted this mistake I made. So, what am I talking about? You already know. The mistake I most regret in my life, is when I left your house and went to stay with my dad. I hope you know why I left and went with him, and that it did not hurt you. I hope you know how much I regret going to stay with him. And for more reasons than what I originally knew. See, I did not want to go live with him, but I was afraid that if I did not stay with him, then I would lose my dad. I thought that when you divorced him, he would not be a father anymore. Because let us face the truth, he really was not a dad to Krista or me already. And there had been a time in my life that I felt like a had more of a relationship with him than Krista did. I was afraid to lose something that I did not have in the first place, and I was afraid after finding this out, you would not allow me to come back to live with you. I missed you, I hope you did know this, and I did not want to live somewhere where you were not, but at this time I did not realize that it would be okay not to have my father in my life. Now, I know that I made such an awful mistake and that I hurt myself more than he could have. I never wanted to hurt you. Now, that I have kids of my own, I understand even more how that could event, even though innocent to the young daughter, could be hurtful for the mother. I do not think I could deal with my own daughter leaving me and wanting to go and live with her father. I should have known, given the past when I had spent time with him when I could no longer stay at grandpa's house with you. I guess I just hoped he would have changed, but he had not. He never changed, even up until the day when he passed away, he still never changed and was the same father he always was, at least towards some of his kids.
By Amanda J Mollett2 years ago in Confessions
Dear Mom, I Am Sorry I Lied
Dear Mom, I once lied to you. Yes, only once. It was not because I did not respect you, because I always did respect you very much. However, I did not know what answer you wanted and I wanted to connect with you, so I took a chance on answering the question the way I thought maybe you wanted to bond. I have always regretted this because I wonder if I told you the truth if we still could have bonded. I often wonder if you were disappointed in me and you just handed it the best way you could, or if you had just wanted the best for me and wanted to make sure I was making the right choices. That day, at that moment, I felt like an adult and that you were treating me like an adult and that we were bonding not only as mother and daughter but as the best of friends as well. At that moment it felt good, but after I wondered if I should have told you the truth, Even years later I still think about this and wonder if I was wrong. Why that day did you ask me this question out of the blue? What did you want my answer to me? I hope that you understand my reasons for the lied I told you, I am sorry that I lied to you, I never lied to you again or even before that. And even though there was a good reason I felt wrong for lying to you. The worse part of it was that when these things actually did happen in my life, I was unable to come to you in that way to talk to you about them. That is the moment that I realizes that I had messed up. That is a moment or moments that should have truly been a real bonding moment for us and because I had not been honest with you, I was not able to come and tell you myself when things happened to me or in my life. I did not know if you were hiding back or if we could talk like friends. I feel like I took that moment and ruined it. And I feel like I took that moment from you as well as myself. I often think about how I would tell you when something was happening to me, and how I would tell you.
By Amanda J Mollett2 years ago in Families