Aspiration

After nearly 28 years on this Earth, I have only just realised something that's been defining my life; the true definition of aspiration.

As is probably true of a lot of people, I grew up being taught to aim high; do well in school, get a degree, get a good job, and climb the ladder, etc. But what if that path isn't right for me?

It's the same with societal expectations of certain life "milestones" like getting married, getting a mortgage, and having kids, etc. These things seem to be expected of you at a certain age but the fact is we're not all interested in those things—maybe just not yet or maybe not at all. I know I've felt depressed and like I'm missing something in recent years when I see my friends around me doing all of the above, but the distinction here is that I'm not wishing I was married, etc. I'm wondering if there's something fundamentally different about me because I chose to live my life at a different pace.

What I have come to realise is that society educates us to think we should be aiming for certain things, but what if we don't actually want those things?

I did do well at school (even though I tried my hardest to get kicked out at one point), I got a First Class Honours Degree, and then I settled into a job that utilised that degree and had prospects for future development. The only trouble was that I wasn't happy, that path didn't fill me with excitement or drive. In fact, it drained me and made me feel lost. Over the last few years, I've moved careers and changed my mind a hundred times about what I really want to do with my life. Product Designer, Programme Manager, Holistic Health Coach, Personal Trainer, Full time Writer, the list goes on. Each time I set out full of enthusiasm only to find that waning after a few months.

Maybe you could argue that I just haven't found my "thing" yet. Some people know it from a young age and follow that dream right through to retirement, but I've never been one of those people. Instead my greatest desires in life are to be outdoors often, be active and fit, enjoy the countryside and overall, just be happy. I want to wake up each morning looking forward to what the day holds, not feeling fed up at the thought of another day sat in the same four walls, working on the same dull projects and talking about the same dull things.

Over the years, I've had recurring thoughts of what I might like to do but these thoughts are always pushed to back of my mind. The things within them aren't deemed aspirational enough. They won't get me the big house, fancy car, and big holidays. But you know what? I finally know I don't actually care and that's perfectly ok.

So this is my realisation and with it a new commitment to myself:

Aspirations are not the same for everyone. Just because I don't want a high flying career or to be married with kids doesn't mean my aspirations are of any less value. I've decided to live my authentic life and be true to myself, whatever that means. I'll just follow my passions and see where they take me!

So what is it that you really want? Are you happy with your lot? Satisfied that you'll look back in your 70s and think I've done everything I wanted to do? If the answer's no, perhaps you'd better start asking some questions and looking at what really lights a fire in you. Good luck.