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"Life works in mysterious ways." Ever heard that before? How about "God works in mysterious ways?" I have. In fact, I still hear it and even see it on inspirational memes on social media. When I was younger, I didn't know or even care what that meant because I was too busy living in the moment and not paying attention to what the universe was putting in my lap.
When I was a child, I loved writing. I was an introvert and still am. I enjoyed writing scary stories then. As a teenager and in my early 20s, I would get books from the library on how to write books. I wrote down a bunch of characters and plots on dozens of papers and would attempt to write a story, but once that good old writer's block smacked me in the back of my head, I was done with it and was on to the next and the same issue would arise so, I gave up and forgot I enjoyed writing.
Eventually, I gave up trying and lived my life. Over time, I conformed to this world and worked, went to school, had kids, and was even a stay-at-home mom. Although I enjoyed those experiences, it just wasn't fulfilling to me. After a while, I was convinced I wasn't going to be anything else other than an employee, mother, student, and housewife. My soul felt lost. I felt I wasn't living my journey to serve my purpose. But I was; I just didn't know it until recently.
Recently, I realized my journey started about five years ago when I walked out of my relationship. I thought I had all the answers and wasn't happy, so I left with no clue of what I was getting myself into once I walked out that door.
From everyone's perspective, I was making a mistake because I immediately jumped into another relationship with someone that was no good for me. Against the odds, I saw different. I saw good things no one else saw despite of how we got together. I didn't care what others thought because no one took the effort to get to know him and they were on the outside looking in.
To say the least, if I were to tell you all the negative things that went on on both ends in our relationship, you'd say everyone else was right, too. Shoot, even I believed it and I became depressed and allowed it to affect me.
It got so bad, I was desperate to find an outlet. I prayed, but was too impatient for results. I binge watched shows to keep my mind off of my life, but that only helped for the time being. I tried different things, but nothing seemed to help. I even tried begging him to be how I needed him to be, but obviously that didn't help either.
After desperately trying different methods to cope with the madness I created, I began to write. It started off the same way as it did years ago. I created characters and a plot. I even bought software to organize my book. It was just a hobby at first and I would get around to it when I felt like it, but that wasn't enough. The more I went through, the more energy I put into that book. Soon enough, I kept writing and it gave me a rush! It was therapeutic. Most times, the chapters flowed naturally. Some days, I would get that horrible writer's block again and I would stop until I got an idea for that chapter. Each time I wrote, I could feel the characters come to life and soon enough Incapable Part 1 was created.
Not only was I writing my book, but I also began my blog site awakenedmindsconvo.wordpress.com where I began writing to motivate others on another level of thinking through conscious awareness. But wait! There's more. I also began doing freelance work by blogging and writing content for other sites. I was in my element and still am.
You see, I'm writing about all this to let you know that only you know what's for you. Your journey is your journey and each journey is different like a fingerprint. When you're on that journey, you don't know where you're headed. You may have a map or a plan, but you'll still be faced with some roadblocks along the way.
When I chose to walk out that door of my last relationship, I went through anything from cheating, being unemployed, and even homelessness. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't sleeping outside, but I was pretty close to it.
Most would call those roadblocks challenges, but that's a negative person's thought process. Instead they should be viewed as opportunities. Opportunities to find your purpose. For me, I had to hit rock bottom to figure out my purpose, but that's ok. Instead of owning them as challenges, I saw them as opportunities. I saw it as the universe finally answering my prayers. I had to experience the storm before the rainbow.
I know that you can get there too if you haven't already. Everyone has ups and downs throughout their lives and yes it can be quite the challenge to cope with. Just know you're not the only one and there are many of us out there.
From someone that has been there many times, please don't let those bad times get the best of you. Understand that in order to get what you want, you are sometimes forced to see what you don't. Use those times as fuel to give you the energy to serve your purpose and remember...your journey is your puropse.
Incapable Part 1
Looking for a good read? Check out my book now. You won't be disappointed!