You Were Born Relentless. Own Up!

As Tim Grover has said in his book RELENTLESS, “Born bad. Taught to be good. Or if you prefer: born relentless, taught to relent”

We all have the bad side. It’s the “dark and evil” side of us, the qualities we don’t want to acknowledge we have. However, as we deny and suppress them, they start to manifest as triggers, projected onto other people, and our lifestyle. Believe me, I’m speaking from my personal experience. Hehehe… God gave me a little spanking to wake me up. 🙂 Life is our greatest teacher don’t you agree?

All those qualities we label as “bad” and we don’t like about ourselves could be competition, jealousy, judgment, having a certain kind of sexual interest, habits, attitudes, anger, selfishness, etc... It’s different for everyone but we’re all capable of those behaviors. We’ve been taught not to accept the “bad” sides of us. Too often the dark side of us is suppressed and not recognized. This is what I learned so far when you deny something it owns you and when you accept it, you’ll get your power back. What you resist will persist. By the way, our dark side is not always “sick and evil” it manifests as such only when we continue to suppress it.

Light and Dark

We live in a duality. Accept it. As we have day and night, we also have both the light and dark sides. It’s really helpful to understand that everything is there to serve its purpose. Understanding this gives us the opportunity to integrate the light and dark sides of ourselves, and experience the wholeness of who we are.

To integrate our light and dark sides, we must accept and embrace both sides of ourselves. It’s not about pretending. Own up your stuff. Listen to your feelings. They are communicating to you. Know what triggers you and why. Once you master that, nobody can push your buttons, because you won’t have any buttons to push. You’ll become trigger less. 😉 Well, ok, I might have lied just a tiny bit… you might still get triggered sometimes by something or someone in your life, but if you practice being mindful of your thoughts and surroundings, it is easy to transform triggers.

How to transform your triggers?

By allowing your feelings to be there and letting yourself be. If the conditions you are in currently pressure you and do not allow you to be yourself 100 percent, then move away from it. “Take the road less traveled.”

Working in a corporate office, I am amazed at the trap of self-consciousness that we create for ourselves. I’ve done it and it limited me from truly connecting with people. Most of you probably resonate with this experience. When we’re in such environment, we sometimes don’t allow ourselves to be. We might buy into the illusion of being a different person in different conditions. But it does not have to be that way. Being yourself is empowering.

As Oprah has said, “Every right decision I have ever made has come from my gut. Every wrong decision I’ve made was the result of me not listening to the greater voice of myself.”

YOU HAVE A BUILTIN GPS SYSTEM INSIDE OF YOU AND IT’S CALLED YOUR INTUITION. Sorry for the yelling. But really, your feelings are your guidance system. Your feelings tell you if what you’re doing is in alignment with your true self or not. When you’re happy and excited to do something which means you’re in alignment with your true self and when you’re not in alignment you feel bad, unhappy. So pay attention.

Highs and lows are part of life and understanding this truth, can help you to allow the wholeness of who you are by being present in the moment. Here is the cool part… You can use your dark side to fuel your creativity and make the necessary changes in your life or in the world. Where do you think your courage and determination comes from? It’s from your dark side. When you get angry about something, it means you don’t tolerate that crap anymore and you are going to do something about it.

Just recently, I was so frustrated and angry looking at the unwanted pattern I created for myself. I realized that the pattern was the manifestation of how I felt internally and I was not allowing myself to fully be. So I asked myself, what does it take for me to fully accept who I am and allow myself to feel the freedom to be the true me? The answer was simple, to let go of the need to try to be certain ways so I can be accepted. It has been liberating to have come to this conclusion and I saw the rebel in me. 😉 It felt so good. I am still a work in progress. Practicing mindfulness and getting used to allowing myself to be.

When you get to the point of not giving a f*ck if people won’t like or approve of you, the authentic you starts to express freely and wholly. You have probably seen those people who are a free spirit, dance and close their eyes on a street in the middle of the day, with their arms outspread embracing life. Haven’t you wished you could be able to do that? Not only the dancing and the outspreading arms on a street, but the freedom to fully express your true self.

Admit it, you want to do what you want and being all that you are not what people expect you to do or be. I admit I do, don’t you? To be free is to have the confidence and be okay with yourself regardless of conditions.

I’ve always been inspired by those who stand up for what they believe in and express their truth despite what anyone else says. People who embrace both their dark and light sides are game changers. They don’t pretend to be good people because they know they are already good they don’t need approval. They are good people and they care for the well-being of all humanity. I know you have that in you, you’re RELENTLESS and I know you know that too. So stop pretending and acting in certain ways to please others. Have self-respect and confidence to live life on your terms. If you don’t like something in your life, change it. Own up. You’re relentless, my friend.

Be yourself! <3