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When I made the decision to cut off my long chocolate brown locks in January, the decision was made completely by impulse and I think I shocked many people by doing it.
I had always had relatively long hair, always extending to, or past, my shoulders. I never had a hairstyle that was below my shoulders, until now.
At the start of a horrible depression period, I decided I didn’t like who I saw in the mirror, I felt as if my hair was dragging me down physically and draining me mentally (something which may sound absurd but that’s how it felt at that time).
So I decided I wanted a change. I wanted shorter hair and I wanted to re-invent myself. So, along with my sisters help, I cut my hair.
I’ve had many people ask me questions like “why would you do that, why would you cut off your beautiful hair?” And even “If I had your hair length, I wouldn’t have done that” Fact is though, as blunt as it sounds, it’s my hair and it’s my choice on how I want to style it.
I didn’t just stop there though. This wasn’t a big enough change for me. I still felt unbelievably shitty. So I grabbed at the scissors once again. And decided to smack a load of bleach on my head.
Many things that people have said to me since I drastically made changes to my hair are things like “how can you be so daring” or “you’re going to ruin your hair” or even the very straightforward “you don’t suit that” but as I previously stated, if you don’t like something about yourself, then change it. And never do it for anyone other than yourself! Don’t listen to people and their negative comments— they’re a nonentity in your life.
But in true ‘me’ fashion, after three months of having light hair, I had enough and I wanted to go back brown again. I was ready to go back to darker hair since I was feeling a lot better mentally.
Usually, I go blonde during the summer and brown throughout the winter period but I decided I would switch it up this year and have dark hair for the rest of summer. Over the last couple of years, I’ve had so many comments of “Brown hair makes you look unwell” or “I prefer the blonde” but I no longer listen to these comments. I make these physical changes for myself based on how I’m feeling at the time.
So I put a brown dye on my hair and went back to a chocolate brown... for a few weeks.
Then I made the decision to go back platinum blonde, with the added bonus of a full fringe (which I now regret— but you have to try things right?)
The thing is, it may just seem like I’m messing with my appearance and not taking care of my hair. But honestly? These changes I went through have made me grow and appreciate myself.
My short hair made me appreciate my face in all its form since I can no longer hide behind my curtain of hair. My platinum blonde hair gives me the brightness I need, especially on my dark days.
Truly, I’m now at a place where I feel the most content and full of clarity, in my whole life.
If you ever want to make a change for yourself, do it and If it’s going to make you happy, go for it... IT’S YOUR LIFE!
Don’t let anyone hold you back.
Thank you for reading,