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Get well. Day 44, January 25, 2019
Hello my loves and welcome back to day 44. Some of you are working on your New Year’s resolutions to get better. So we have to start at the beginning. I want to backtrack a little bit and start all over so I’m not just spewing random topics and hope that it’s something that you need to hear. A lot of you are coming to me and asking me where I started that officially helped me to get my life together.
Today we are going to look at the works of Amy Morin from her book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. Whenever someone approaches me with a predicament that they have, I always offer up the advice to make a pros and cons list. For the most part it helps. But I never think about a do's and don’ts list. When working on mental health, a lot of people are going to tell you what you need to get done to better yourself. I feel it is important to know what not to do as well. It sets boundaries. As Morin describes it, “We work hard to do the things that we think will make us better, but we forget to focus on the things that might be sabotaging our efforts.”
So where do we start? If you look back at some of my other topics “Toxic Thoughts” and “No Offense,” we learned that we have to babysit our thoughts and, in a way, trick our brain into thinking positively and realistically. In “No Offense,” we talked about how to respond to others and not take offense to everything. We learned to calm down and not always react based off of our emotions. So if you need to, please take a look back at those as they go into more depth on how to deal with both of those topics.
On page 11 of Morin’s book, she phrases it as, “Base your actions on logic and not emotions.” Isn’t amazing how many articles we read that pretty much say the exact same thing, but we still can’t necessarily get it right? Sometimes we need to hear it said a different way. You heard how I said it, how Ariel Bloomer said it, and now Amy Morin. Later on please comment and tell me which way seems to be more helpful.
I also preached about a topic of basic rules to live by. But what about basic rules to achieving better mental health? Let’s take a look at what Morin has to say:
You don’t have to be tough to be in a better mindset.
You don’t have to ignore your pain or your emotions. Healing is a process and you cope with it. And pain lets us know when something is wrong.
You don’t have to do it on your own. A support system is very important. It is okay to ask for help.
I feel like one of the most important ones is “It’s not just about thinking positively, but thinking realistically.” And this goes along with acknowledging your pain. It is okay to mourn after a loss. It’s okay to be sad. But we also have to remember that this pain doesn’t last forever, that we have gotten through this before, and we can use coping skills to overcome our challenges.
Getting better isn’t a pop culture trend. Do it for yourself. As Lacey Sturm said, “Don’t do it to be praised, do it because it is important to your heart motive.” (Reflect Love Back Daily Journal Page 103)
Last but not least, you do not have to be mentally ill to better yourself. Every human being struggles, we have flaws and imperfections, we do things we regret, we all experience sadness at times. We all need to work on ourselves at times. So this is my invitation to you, to join me on this journey. We will get through this together as civil human beings.
Join me later as I finish this book. I will have more insight and knowledge for you and I will let you all know what personally works for me.