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When Did We Forget to Smile?

The Danger of the Constant Frown

By alife vibePublished 6 years ago 7 min read
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I think we have a major smile crisis on our hands.

Specifically, the fact that many have forgotten how to genuinely smile and how a simple smile can greatly improve or wellbeing.

It’s a widespread phenomenon that slowly takes over our interpersonal life, impacts our professional work, and also impacts our communities.

The issue to me is it seems like many of us have forgotten how to smile.

Or maybe we’re unaware of the effects of something as simple as a smile.

I have some ideas about why this might be the case and what we can do about it.

I’ll also discuss why our seeming inability to smile can actually be quite bad for us.

When did it start?

I’m not quite sure when we first forgot to smile, or when it went out of style.

For me, it’s still very much “in style” and has been for as long as I can remember.

I can recall being in high school and being this “happy” kid that would literally smile for no reason.

Maybe not having to deal with rent, phone bills, relationships, a real job, and the things I have to deal with now could have been the cause.

But by no means was my life perfect at that time, yet I still felt thankful for even the smallest things.

We all have a myriad of reasons to express gratitude. However, when in the throes of depression, anxiety, and sadness, it can be really hard to remember why we’re even here.

In a strange way, my goal is to become more like my younger self as I get older.

My younger self didn’t need to receive external validation to express satisfaction with life.

There was a consistent sense of gratitude that I possessed that would manifest itself in regular smiles.

I would smile at my teachers.

Complete strangers.

Friends + Acquaintances.

To family.

Even when I felt like crap on the inside.

But somewhere along the way, that changed.

Even I began to internalize the mistruth that smiling so often is “weird.”

This idea that being happy on a regular basis wasn’t cool, that being “serious” and presenting myself in such a way would protect me.

And suddenly, the smiles were wiped away.

However, there are many theories around why many 19th century portraits featured unsmiling subjects.

Some believe that during that time smiling or laughing in photos could have a negative connotation.

Resting Bitch Face?

One of my theories is that the rise in popularity of “resting bitch face” (RBF) may be the culprit.

Resting bitch face is the phenomenon in which a person’s face lacks animation and they are often considered to be upset or a snob.

This is typically depicted with a tightening of the eyes and slight raise of the corners of the lip.

Interestingly, women are more likely to be associated with RBF.

What this can communicate to others is that perhaps we don’t want to be bothered or approached.

In fact, science has shown that people associate various emotions when viewing photos of someone with RBF.

RBF can communicate a sense of contempt or scorn.

This perspective, however, doesn’t take into consideration people who display flat affect.

Flat affect is defined as an expression that “lacks signs of affective expression, or having a monotonous voice and unmoving face” according to the University of Washington Department of Psychiatry glossary.

I’m not referring to those individuals in this post. I’m referring to those that are able to display a range of emotions but whom have allowed the constant frown to take over.

We’re sadder.

I can attest to the idea that folks appear sadder in my own professional and personal experience.

These experiences may be somewhat subjective, however.

Just strolling through the streets, I encounter the smile-less everywhere.

I often observe expressions that I assess to be related to stress, anxiety, suspicion, and just disconnect from others.

In my professional experience, I’ve also received more referrals for individuals struggling with depression, anxiety, and adjustment disorders than ever before.

I’ve talked before about the fact that rates of depression rose significantly.

Perhaps we’ve become a population of sadder people and that’s causing us to smile less.

Eight percent of adults over 20 reported experiencing depression during a two week period as of February 2018.

Additionally, women are twice as likely as men to report experiencing depression.

Could there be a connection with what we present externally to the world (RBF/lack of smiling) with how we feel and our mood?

Smile for What?

Smiling has been shown scientifically to have positive implications on health.

Below are just a few of the reported benefits:

  • Can help us feel happier
  • We can appear friendlier and willing to be engaged
  • Can reduce stress
  • Creates positive emotions
  • May help create social bonds

These reasons should demonstrate that forgetting to smile can be quite dangerous, particularly because smiling on purpose can change brain chemistry and lead to actual feelings of joy and happiness.

This can be a technique for those of us struggling with depression or anxiety.

It can also be dangerous to our communities.

For parents, children often imitate the expression and behaviors of the caregivers.

What experiences do we want our children and the next generation to have?

Positive Minded

The good news is that there is a legit science to learning how to smile.

So even if our MO is RBF (resting bitch face) currently, you too can learn how to sneak in a smile every now and then.

Here’s how.

Think of something that brings you absolute joy and happiness.

In a world full of stressors, finding moments of mindfulness and focusing on the positive can have a powerful impact on our mood.

Understandably, this may seem easier said than done and can seem nearly impossible if you’re struggling to deal with depression or anxiety.

But here are a few ideas to help get you started:

If you’re reading this right now, perhaps that means you have a phone, laptop or tablet.

You can be thankful for that.

By reading this, that also should mean that you have the gift of eye sight (even if it’s not 20/20)

There’s another reason to be grateful.

Above all, if you’re reading this, that means you’re alive in this very moment.

You can get in the habit of practicing your smile in the mirror.

You’ll be able to try out different smiles and nail the one that seems the most genuine for you.

Therefore, you’ll be able to experience the benefits of smiling while doing so in a way that is authentic and real for you.

Studies show that activities like journaling, focusing on the positive in life, as well as sitting with and experiencing the positive feeling can increase levels of happiness.

I know we’re bogged down with to do lists and tasks out the wazoo.

From home obligations to work obligations to relationship obligations, it may seem never ending.

Just don’t forget to smile.

Perhaps even help someone else crack a smile.

Helping someone else has been known to increase happiness.

Conclusion

I decided to write this post because I’m passionate about wellness.

Even my own experience of navigating the world has caused me to personally contemplate when we forgot to smile?

Maybe there wasn’t one specific moment in time and maybe the WHEN doesn’t matter at all.

The key is to examine what’s underneath our frown.

If you’re part of the smile-less, try to examine your life and identify how you’re feeling on a regular basis.

Are we experiencing sadness? Are we feeling lonely? Unloved? Overwhelmed?

If so, those are issues that we can address and should address.

In my previous posts, I shared some resources for support that I recommend as they’re essentially accessible to anyone with a phone.

With all the proven health benefits of smiling, I just don’t think we can afford not to.

So even if you have to fake it, my advice is to start to smile more.

Focus on that which you can be grateful for in any moment.

Write it down.

Find SOMETHING that brings you joy in life.

You may notice a better mood by doing so.

Also, you may find that others gravitate towards you more naturally.

#dontforgettosmile

Hopefully this article has helped you smile today. If you enjoyed what you read, feel free to leave a tip. It will be greatly appreciated.

happiness
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About the Creator

alife vibe

Blogger/Life Coach/Counselor/Therapist. Founder of self help brand alifevibe.

My life's work is to support others. Any tips received would be to help me build a brand that will empower and inspire others.

www.alifevibe.com

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