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To the Girl Always Stuck in Her Head

"The voice in your head."

By M FPublished 5 years ago 4 min read
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I don't know who told you that you have to be perfect.

I don't know who told you that if you aren't the best, you're worthless.

That you need to be better. Do better. Try harder. That you're not good enough.

The voice that lives in the back of your mind always ever present that you're constantly fighting against. Comparing yourself to others. Never able to be satisfied. Never able to rest. Never giving yourself a break.

The relentless voice that never lets you stop. It pushes you to be better, but it never allows you to love yourself because you're always too busy comparing yourself. Judging your body, your achievements, and your life. You tell yourself that it's a good thing because it's what "you need to do" to get to where you want to be, but deep down you know it's not. The voice that makes you think what if and question everything. When it's to beating you up, it's making you overthink leaving you unable to sleep some nights. The voice that beats you up inside every day telling you that you're a failure and that you can't do it. The voice that just when you're starting to feel good pulls you right back down. It takes such a toll on you.

Constantly telling you the things that make you doubt yourself, that you're not good enough...

That voice will push you until there's nothing left to push. And when you're at that point, you still won't be satisfied. Because the satisfaction you seek is the satisfaction that is found within.

And the voice in your head seeks it from outside.

As long as that voice is there, you'll never be good enough. You've allowed it to control too much of your life. I get it, I really do. It's frustrating. You just want it to stop, but you don't know how to shut it up. The voice inside my head used to control me more and I was miserable until I learned how to control it. How to define my own standards and success. How to not compare myself and progress to others. How not to beat myself up if I slip up, if I make a mistake.

How to chase excellence instead of perfection.

There's a difference between the voice inside your head being self-motivating and it being self-destructive. The line has to be drawn when it starts to change your perception of yourself and your self-esteem. When all you see when you look at yourself is failure.

You can't push yourself to the standards of others. Listen to your body. Use your mind to motivate. And follow your heart.

I don't know who ever thought that it was okay to tell anyone that they aren't good enough. It's wrong for someone to try to tell you how you should be, look, or be doing. Use others to motivate you, but not become your goals. Compete with others, but don't compare.

There's no one size fits all in life. Everyone is different. Everyone's body. Everyone's experiences. Remember that.

It's hard not to take things people say to heart when you're already in your head. When they reaffirm the things that you've been told your whole life, the things you've been telling yourself. But, remember that just because you've been told something your whole life doesn't mean that it's right.

You can't let your mind trap you. That's how it consumes you and every aspect of your life. It ruins everything. You have to escape it to stay sane, to be truly happy. It's no fun living inside your head constantly feeling worthless, unhappy, worrying, and overthinking. It's no way to live, it's just surviving. Existing instead of living.

You'll never be somebody else. You won't have their body. You won't have their life. But, what you can have is what you do have. It's learning to make the best out of what you do have. You can't make goals based off of the goals of someone else. You sense of worth should never be dependent on how you compare to someone else. Your best isn't the same as someone else's.

Someone else's idea of success and progress isn't going to be the same as what yours should be.

You don't have to be perfect. Your progress isn't going to look the same as some else's. Your life isn't going to look the same as everyone else's. You have such high standards for yourself and that's great. But, you can't always be perfect. You can't always be so hard on yourself. And you can't beat yourself up every time you mess up. You have to be able to cut yourself some slack sometimes. You're human. That means you're allowed to make mistakes. They don't define you.

One mistake doesn't make you a failure. It's okay to have high expectations for yourself, but don't let the voice in your head make those impossible expectations.

Don't focus on what you don't have and focus on what you do. Not how far you have to go, but how far you've come. See yourself as a victor instead of a victim. A success instead of a failure. It's all about perspective.

Live in the now and not in your head.

You are good enough. Get out of your head. Stop comparing yourself. Stop doubting yourself. Focus on the good more than the bad. Keep moving forward. And keep doing YOUR best.

Because your best is good enough. You are good enough a thousand times enough.

Life is hard enough without the voice in your head reminding you of the things you're self-conscious about. This is your life. It's your journey. It's about you, not anyone else. Don't allow anyone or anything to control it for you. Never let anyone or anything steal your happiness.

"We sip the poison our minds pour for us and wonder why we feel so sick."-Atticus
happiness
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About the Creator

M F

Your Feelings Are Valid Author. Chainsmokers and Fletcher fanatic. Quote lover. More emotional than your typical Capricorn. TPA. ISTJ. Lesbian. Asian.

Insta: @garnishdaddy. Owner of Native Cocktail Events

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