Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger

1. Life is not some game where everyone must strive towards perfection in order to win. You do not need to reach those ridiculous standards society has created and you most certainly do not need to refer to those standards as goals to set for yourself. You are rare and extraordinarily beautiful just the way you are, and if society doesn’t accept that you may be under or over the proposed body mass index or have a slightly larger nose or crooked smile or scars or acne or a flat chest, they are the ones who need a change of heart. Don’t change for them, even if that means “losing” in the eyes of society.

2. The word “ugly” is just a calamitous lie engraved deep inside of the brains of helplessly insecure human beings who have yet to fully love and/or find peace within themselves. Oblivion decides to take a mini vacation inside of their brains and while it eats away all of the remaining common sense in the refrigerator of their frontal lobe, they are left thinking they are what classifies under this disastrous four-letter word, and there is absolutely nothing they can do about it. Lie number one.

3. Comparisons do not define your level of success in your natural aptitude. There are surely and evidently going to be more human beings who have the same talents, strengths, features, and desires as you do. You should not feel incompetent or inadequate due to the effect of their work and their accomplishments because you are just as capable as they are to achieve the same exact goals. It means nothing that they have achieved it before you because there are certain goals and accomplishments you have achieved that they still have yet to. Like #1, it is not a game. It is not a competition. Let other’s success encourage and motivate you, not tear you down and make you feel lousy about yourself for not reaching the same level of success as they have.

4. Growing an unreasonable amount of antipathy for those who are less sentient than you are is going to get you nowhere. You must find acceptance to the fact that certain individuals have a harder time expressing the intensity of their emotions. It is not that they do not feel. They most likely just prefer to keep their emotions hidden. Although you feed off of the emotions others give off, remain cognizant of the fact that some are distinct from you, and simply will not let you help them in the ways they need. Learn to be okay with other’s silence and unwillingness to confide in you.

5. Recognize that you are enough, for yourself. You do not need to spend all of your time foolishly working to be classified as "good enough" for others who surround you. For the rest of your lifetime, there are going to be human beings who will indubitably try to bring you down due to their own insecurities and hidden envy of how far you’ve come, but you cannot let them.

6. It is okay to take responsibility for your mistakes and misunderstandings but you cannot fall into a notion where you consistently think, and allow others to make you think, you are the one at fault. You are not. Of course, you may have contributed to the situation, but relationships are a two-way street. You may or may not have made your fair share of foolish and immature mistakes, but stop ridiculing yourself for their mistakes, as well. Quit telling yourself they probably had some sort of right to take action to what they've done.

7. Be conscientious enough to avoid putting too much of your time into a priority that isn't worth it. It will only result in exhaustion from ample negative energy and a sense of defeat as nothing gets accomplished. Allowing yourself to obsess over this priority is taking away the time you could have spent building more valuable goals for yourself and working towards a happier and less stressed state of mind.

8. If you have always been the polite person with an honorable heart who always says yes, that does not mean you are incapable of being impolite when necessary and firmly saying no. Not only does it strengthen your resilience and voice, but it teaches others to understand you are a person too. You deserve to be respected and when you are not, others should always receive the consequence from that. Silence is not always a deserving punishment. Inform them about what they did to disrespect you and notify them of the boundaries they've overstepped.