Tom kerins
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The War on Words

Arm yourself.

Human beings are funny creatures. It's said that most of our communication doesn't even happen through words, but body language. How does that apply when speaking to yourself though? What's the "body language" of your inner voice? Let's dive in, shall we?

I've been a personal trainer for nearly a decade now. In that time, I have worked with many different types with many different needs. The one thing all of my successful clients have in common, is positive self-speak. This isn't a new concept, rather one that should be expounded on to the umpteenth degree because of how truly powerful it is. 

Today, sitting with a client struggling with weight loss, we had the following conversation.

Client: I fucked it up, man.
Me: What do you mean? 
Client: I have been eating well for 10 days straight, then yesterday I blew up. I exploded. I fucked it all up. 
Me: Tell me about what happened.
Client: I was doing well all day long, then I ate everything in sight. I went way off the wagon. 

In actuality, he overate by around 500 calories. So, by no means did he "blow up," "explode," or "fuck it all up." As our conversation continued, I noticed a trend in his speech patterns. When it came to exercise, everything was good and positive. When it came to food, everything was negative. I asked him to take a step back and analyze his decisions in a positive state. He went from "I fucked it all up" to "it wasn't that bad" in a matter of moments. 

The underlying issue here isn't the food. It's the way we speak to ourselves in the mirror. When a challenge arises, if our first instinct is to delve into the negative and beat ourselves up, nothing will get accomplished.

Regardless of effort, your words will defeat you before any task ever will.

Have you ever had an issue that you simply can't seem to correct despite having the tools and means to do so? It's not you. It's the way you treat yourself. 

Imagine for a moment this scenario. You're driving. It's raining heavily and you are being cautious. You are also in a hurry to get to an engagement, so the stress levels are high. You roll up to a line of cars at a four-way stop. You, as a rational person, understand that the stop sign is in place to keep you and your fellow motorists safe. Now, you've pulled up to the stop sign, you're waiting for the cars to safely go. You respond to this situation with frustration and outward anger. You begin to unravel. "I could have left sooner if my clothes fit the way I wanted and if my stupid roommate hadn't asked me to help him move his desk and if these slow ass cars would drive with some confidence! Fuuuuucccccckkkkk!"

You have created a situation for yourself that will never be improved with that kind of attitude. Acceptance of the situation, mixed in with a logical take on success will always reward you with a positive outcome. You know why? Because you have now willed it into fruition. It's not magic. It's not a secret. It's positive self-talk, and you're not doing enough of it. 

Our ego runs us. It whispers in our ear that we're not rich enough or pretty enough or smart enough etc. Your ego is wrong. We often times set these very open-ended ideals on ourselves with no actual understanding as to why. Now, obviously, if you want to own a private plane, and you're unemployed...yeah...you're not rich enough for that. The question to ask is "why do I want a private plane?" Do you have the travel bug and you want to experience the world firsthand or are you just trying to flex for a bunch of strangers on social media? Living authentically and serving those goals will yield the best results because you are doing it for you.

For those of you trying to change your lives in any way, I salute you. Self-improvement is never a bad idea, and it's very difficult. Know this, you are not a slave to anyone else's concepts or ideals. You are not a slave to the process. You are not a slave to the grind. You are liberated in your enlightenment. You are powerful beyond measure. You are your own biggest cheerleader, and goddammit, that's a good thing! The louder you cheer for yourself, the less bullshit from outside influence will affect you. 

Whatever your goal. Wherever you want to end up, your mantra for each day of work will be the same "I can. I will. I am." Anything you want. "I can. I will. I am." 

We have people we care about, and would do anything for those people. We would support those people until the last star burned out. Why can't we do the same for ourselves? You deserve that level of respect and love. So, deliver it authentically. "I can. I will. I am" important things take time, and if you ask any successful investor, they will tell you the same. Patience and belief in the process will overcome all. 

I can. I will. I am.

Now, get out there and grab your dreams. Accept nothing less, and trust the process.

I can! I will! I am!

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