The Struggles of Post-Grad

In light of graduation season, I thought it'd be appropriate to write this post.

The sole purpose of this, rather lengthy article, is to shed light to the unspoken realities of post-grad, and how many graduates face a rollercoaster of emotions in it. If you're reading this, thinking "not me, I'm fine," great! I urge you to send this article to someone who might be in this season now, struggling to find their way.

For those of you who have just graduated from school, congratulations!

This is an exciting time in your life, and it comes without saying that you deserve to be celebrated! Whether you just graduated from high school or college, the accomplishment was no easy task and it is commendable that you have reached the finish line.

Welcome to the next step of your life and career.

Uh-oh!

The next step scares most of us. Well, I'll speak for myself and say it scared me. For the sake of this post, I'll be completely transparent and admit that it scared the 'h-e-double-hockey-sticks' out of me.

Why? I’ll sum it up here, but go into detail later:

Change is scary and the unknown is scarier. Check out some of my post-grad struggles down below.

(Sidebar: I graduated college in 2017 as a journalism major at the age of 22 in pursuit of becoming a TV host).

1. I didn't have a job post-grad. You read it correctly.

I was unemployed and only had two internships that paid me enough to eat. I also want to add that eating came twice a day (as three times was considered luxurious). While the internships were great learning experiences, I became down on myself and started to question if I had chosen the wrong major and/or career path.

I found it extremely frustrating that I had spent the last four years in school to only land internships and not a full-time job with benefits, a 401K and the ability to eat three times a day. I desired more and by more I mean, I wanted to be the next Oprah at 22 years old, no kidding.

Fast forward two years later, and I'm still not Oprah. Although I have a full-time job with benefits, a 401K and the ability to eat three times a day, I'm not exactly where I thought I'd be at the top of 2013 when I planned my future, heading to college.

2. My friends and I drifted apart post-grad. The friends I made in college began discovering themselves in a new way (as was I) and our interests changed. This altered the relationships, too.

It was quite lonely, to say the least, and as an introvert, it was extremely hard to establish community outside of what I thought was my core group of friends.

I had no idea where to meet people and even what to say to them upon meeting them. I found myself going out more and can I be honest, honest? I'm quite awkward, so it was no easy task!

3. Current, post-grad struggle: Those around me are either in a serious relationship, engaged or married (with kids!).

Back in 2013, I thought I'd find my husband in college and we'd be married by the time I was 25. I am now 24 (with only six months left to 25), single and have absolutely no prospects. Talk about funny, right?

While you may be on a natural high from graduating, I am here to tell you that opposing emotions will come. Here's some advice for those of you who identified with anything previously said: you can move forward and conquer your post-grad season, if the focus remains on YOU!

What I listed above were things that concerned me because of the pressures of society. Society tells us what we ought to have, and we somehow give into it. When we don't have these things, we subconsciously think we're less than the next person or that something is wrong with us.

Wrong!

Once you get out of the cycle of what you should have by age so-and-so, you can live more freely. I was bounded by this idea, and I didn't have anyone to point me in the direction of freedom. I, myself, had to discover this freedom out of my frustration of feeling like I was “lacking.”

But, feelings are fleeting because I was never in lack to begin with. Neither are you.

Let me explain by going back to #1 on my list of post-grad worries. Who in the world told me that I had to be Oprah at 22 years old? Oprah wasn't even Oprah at 22! That pressure was placed on me by society!

Now, #2. Who in the world told me that I was all alone because my college friends found other interests? People grow up and sometimes grow apart. But, society tells us that if we don't have a huge circle of friends, we're doing something wrong.

Lastly, #3. Who in the world told me that I am only of value if I have a husband and kids at 25? I am only 24 and still discovering what I even want and need in a man, let alone a husband! Society has stomped its feet on women who do not have a mate, as if they're insignificant without one.

Honey, you are magical and believe me, your time is coming. That career is on its way; those life-long friends aren't too far; and your person is within reach.

Your steps are being ordered and your story created. Do not, and I repeat, do not fall into the hole of comparison while you are on a quest to finding your purpose. Your purpose is just that, yours. Take ownership of it and always exercise your divine talents.

You were made for this, grad!

Now, go change the world in your own time and at your own pace. This isn't a sprint, it's a marathon and in the words of the late Nipsey Hussle, the marathon continues!