Motivation logo

The Stage that Changed Everything

And My Experience with the Theater

By Shana McKiePublished 5 years ago 7 min read
Like

Imagine you walk into an abandoned house with rats scratching at the floorboards and mold eating away at the foundation of the walls, you feel your body reacting to the stench of the living room involuntarily causing you to hold back tears in your eyes. You then look over at your mother expecting the same intense reaction, but all you see are her lips forming the words, “We’ll take it!”—surprising everyone, even the landlord that's renting us this horrific home. This was my entire childhood and every house that we moved to from day one only got worse. In my experience, life is all about changes. Just when you think nothing will change, everything does. Growing up, I didn’t have a very healthy childhood. My family was very dysfunctional, and I felt as if I didn’t belong anywhere. Looking back, I would’ve never even considered joining theatre based on everything going on around me; luckily had the opportunity to walk through those dimly lit doors to the stage that would change my life forever. Theatre helped me overcome my shyness while creating powerful friendships and changing my life for the better.

In elementary school, I was always the shy kid who never talked and cried whenever she had to speak in front of a full classroom of thirteen peers. I am very grateful that theatre changed this for me. When other kids looked at me, they saw the fat lonely kid who just ate her feelings away. Until I joined theatre, I had no real hobbies. It wasn’t that I didn’t try different activities, I just always found a reason to hate them. I tried soccer when I was five. Being in the basking sun with the creepy crawlies wasn’t exactly my cup of tea, so I tried basketball. As soon as began running across the screeching court and felt the cold sweat dripping down my back, I stopped dead in my tracks and started to bawl my eyes out. Next, I joined the swim team, the Siouxland Sharks. Soon after this regretful decision, I realized that my lungs felt like they were being stepped on by a sumo wrestler every time I would fight my way to the top of the water to take a breath. So, the only option for me was to sit on the couch after school, crying and eating entire bags of potato chips. I truly thought that I was the only person like me, that is until I joined the Sioux City Community Theatre. This was when I found my true hobby. Walking past the sign laced in lights that read The Velveteen Rabbit and up the stairs dressed in red carpet, it was like I had walked into another land. It was like I was on a beautiful planet unlike anything I have ever seen, with aliens who were just like me. Obviously, I’m not an alien, but the point is, I had found my people. Looking around I saw gorgeous women in long gowns laughing and flicking their head back as if to say, “I am the most amazing creation.” I saw men who were strong, but not just physically, strong emotionally in a way that they knew who they were and weren’t afraid to show it. With my new family, I always felt included and loved. Family is supposed to look at you in a way that you are going to accomplish great things, and this is how my theatre family always looked at me. Before I had even walked onto the stage, my new family had taught me how to believe in myself and in my abilities. I had truly found who I wanted to be and who I thought I was on the inside. That day has inspired me every single waking moment of my life to be like those beautiful creatures that I had seen. The first step was to overcome my shyness and they all helped me do this. They taught me that being on stage isn’t about you, it is about your character. This advice gave me confidence on the stage to look into the roaring crowd and make them listen to my story. It showed me that my story will always be important and that someone out there needs to hear it.

As I have previously mentioned, my home life was never safe. From the time I was born until I was seventeen, I lived in a total of ten different houses. During my second-grade year, my brother and I moved to three different schools thus making it very difficult to create a strong group of friends. Above the difficulty of moving schools, we continued to move homes. So, you can imagine my surprise walking into the most stunning building I had ever seen in my lifetime. The walls weren’t moldy or rotting in front of my eyes, they were the complete opposite. Smelling was not an issue here, I smelled something wonderful and again, I had to choke back tears, but this time from joy. I looked around, noticing and taking in every single detail for fear that I may never see this place again. Statues, paintings, a new red carpet leading the way to my improved life, but the most memorable of all was the inside of the women’s restroom. As I walked in, the first thing I saw was myself, but not just any mirror was reflecting this beautifully imperfect image. This is a mirror lined with photos of inspirational women who may have felt the same insecurities that I was feeling in this exact moment. It was at this moment that I realized I was worth more than this life I had been given and I, Shana McKie, was going to make a difference. I knew that those women above that bathroom mirror, and many more to come, were going to teach me the ways that I could be who I was with no apologies. This was the day I had found my true family and my new, breathtaking home.

Looking around me in the environment I was always in, I knew this “family” that my mother was trying to create, wasn’t my true family at all. I didn’t know this for sure until I met my new family, the theatre. The woman I am today is not the woman I was eight years ago, and it is not the woman that I will be in twenty more. All I know is that I am proud of the individual that I have become, and that is all thanks to theatre. One thing that I have been fortunate enough to have in my childhood is a world that is more accepting to the ones around them, but I never saw this forgiving of a world until that unforgettable day. My mother had many men in the home, so many that I lost count at twenty. One man I will never forget is Tim. Tim was a man who never apologized for his masculinity, who never took no for an answer, and who my mom was truly afraid of. A ten-year-old girl should never encounter this kind of man, let alone stand up to him. So, I didn’t. When Tim asked me - no, he demanded me - to drink an entire glass of wine when his friends came over, so I impressed them, I couldn’t say no. Looking back on that day now and thinking of the smell of the cheap wine filling my nostrils, I regret not standing my ground. I am a woman who will stand up for whatever I believe in, and I couldn’t be that woman today without my theatrical friends to show me how powerful a woman can truly be, and how scary the consequences of letting your guard down around a man will always be. Not only did they empower me to help conquer the beast that is the glass ceiling, but they showed me that no matter who I am, I will be loved. Still to this day, they are my family and true family helps you to reach your full potential and be who you are no matter what the cost.

Letting the past define you will never boost you to your full potential. Whatever the past may be, we can always move forward to a new and improved life. I may have been raised differently than those around me, but being who I am will always lead me to reaching my full potential no matter where I’m at in life. Theatre will always hold a place in my heart and will be my forever home until the day I die. I know whenever I am doubting how I’ve made it this far, or how far I can truly go, I always think back to that first day when I met the stage that changed everything.

healing
Like

About the Creator

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.