The Promise of Restoration

Three weeks into the new year. Although things are definitely improving, I still see no progress in the areas that most interest me. Now, I have done everything I can, I am as patient as I never thought I could be, I keep working hard and also, enjoy my time off and spend, at least, a moment of gratitude every day. I look for the positive, bright side of everything I do and all things that come past me. But the struggle is still very, alarmingly real.

I praise the universe for having always protected and provided for me. I could not be so grateful for all the gifts and blessings I have received throughout my entire life. I guess it's my self-entitlement as a human to expect more. To always want more. And, that one thing I am still missing is always in the back of my mind, reminding me "it could be better." That's where the struggle resurfaces.

I do my best to keep a spirit of gratitude. I keep my heart at peace knowing I am doing my part, and I must trust the process. Although my mind keeps upsetting my heart, trying to take control of me, saying I could be doing more, how this has all happened before, how I have been so close but never made it. But my soul knows best, and keeping my heart focused on what my soul knows turns out to be extremely difficult. Therefore, I go back to prayer. I pray that the universe will mend my soul and help me trust the process. I pray that I am reminded I deserve all these blessings and that I allow myself to reclaim them as my own. I pray that I remain a good person and always spread the joy of the blessings with all those who cross paths with me. And then I find relief.

Things are then shown to me in a different light and it helps me value the "hardship" I may now be facing. It makes me realize this is not even hard. This is really nothing compared to actual hardships I have overcome. I am reminded I am on my own terms now. Free to deal with things my way. Free to choose for myself. Free to heal. Free to grow. Which is exactly why I was sent here. Which is how I know things will, as they always have, work out to my advantage. For I have done my best, and I take pride in all the gifts I have received, physically, intellectually and spiritually and in every aspect of human life; not in vanity, but as proof that the universe has deemed me worthy of them. The universe, the mightiest force, where everything was originated, deemed me worthy of manifesting the blessings. Then, I must close my eyes. Ignore the make-believe threats my mind creates. Keep my heart at peace. Let my soul take over. For I am a projection of the universe and the universe will always overflow my cup in the end.

Point being, it's hard. It takes a huge effort. But, they say, if things aren't going well then this is not yet the end. This is why I must trust and keep faith. The hardest part of the storm is when its closest to over. When we are most tired and weary from the fight is when we must keep fighting. "When the going gets tough," is not about the universe putting us through hardship. It is actually the universe preparing us to receive an even greater blessing. It is the universe asking us to prove ourselves what we can accomplish in order to enjoy greater blessings.

I'd like to close this entry with gratitude. I say grace for all the good I have received in the past and that I still receive in the present. I say grace for all the people who have crossed paths with me for they have all taught me a lesson in some form or way. I say grace for all my gifts and privileges. And I beg for the humility and wisdom to know how to handle myself when I become the ultimate version of me, when I have reached my potential and it is my turn to spread the joy and give back to all those around me. And I hope that I can already help make a difference as of right now, while I'm still struggling. Help inspire and motivate all those who need a word of encouragement, anyone and everyone who thinks they can't take it anymore. I believe in you. You'll make it and you'll break it. And in the meantime, you can reach out to me. I am always willing to listen and help in whatever way I can. Blessings to all.