The Power of Knowing Your Worth

Ah, love. Love is a many splendid thing, isn’t that how the saying goes? Some of the most beautiful acts in the world are committed out of love. Some of the most incredible art has been created and inspired by love. Love moves mountains and crosses oceans. Love comes in all forms big and small. Love brings us together; it joins nations and individuals alike. But what about a love lost? A scorned lover? Betrayal? Lies and deceit? Manipulation for personal gain?

Sometimes these things masquerade as love, and they’re so good at the act they put on that we fall for it more often than most of us would like to admit. Sometimes you think it’s love, and you think you found someone who was different, special, or worth loving. Then reality hits. Sometimes it slowly creeps in through the cracks over years, and sometimes it crashes into you like speeding car. Either way, eventually, reality hits and it’s usually a hard hit, a hard realization.

Everyone is quick to jump in and give advice. “Don’t do this.” “Always do blah blah blah.” “Next time blah blah blah blah.” But you’re still left feeling hollow and unsure of what to do. Maybe during your newly acquired quiet time, and since your schedule is suddenly wide open, you think about all your failed relationships and start seeing a pattern. A pattern in the type of person you date or attract into your life, or maybe a pattern in the choices you make over and over again. Maybe you find, during your soul-searching pity party, that you really don’t like yourself that much now that you’re spending some quiet time with yourself. And maybe, just maybe, you decide that you want to change that. You don’t want to think hateful thoughts about yourself anymore; you want to feel happy and have good things happen to you.

This is where it all begins. Your next chapter is waiting for you, waiting for you to let go and turn the page. It’s easier said than done for sure, and there is always a process of grief to move through before you can actually turn that page. No, there is no expressway through grieving a lover lost (or kicked out) and you have to be patient with yourself, but once your body and mind are done holding onto the past the page turns and you’re free to start anew.

With this new-found freedom comes a sense of self-worth. Suddenly, all the things you thought you needed someone else to help you with you’re doing on your own. You feel accomplished, maybe for the first time in a long time, and you begin to feel confident in yourself and your own abilities. You impress yourself by doing things you always told yourself that you couldn’t do, and with each shattered barrier you boost your self-worth and self-confidence even more.

Knowing your self-worth will keep you from making bad decisions in your next relationship, that is if you haven’t sworn off romance altogether. When you know your own value, it’s easy to say “No” to things that don’t benefit you. Not every single relationship you have or person you meet in your life will benefit you. Hopefully, good or bad, you can learn some sort of lesson from it but, as far as benefits go, sometimes a lesson is about all you get.

It is common to feel ashamed or even be shamed by others when you first begin to say “No” to non-beneficial relationships. When you don’t conform, you make people nervous and upset and their natural response is to try to put you back in your place. But if you don’t let them, if you allow your strength to shine through and your wisdom, self-love, and experience guide you then these people won’t matter. Their opinions won’t matter. And every time you push through these experiences you get stronger, and even more confident.

When you know what is in your best interest, no one can claim power over you. No one can confine you, and no one can disrespect you unless you let them.