The List: How to Be a Success

Do you recognise this list?

1. Go to preschool – play nicely
2. Go to primary school – do what teacher tells you
3. Go to secondary school so you can go to college/sixth-form
4. Go to college/sixth-form so you can go to university
5. Do well at university so you can get a good job
6. Get promoted
7. Start a serious long-term relationship
8. Get promoted
9. Get married
10. Get promoted
11. Buy a house
12. Get promoted
13. Have children
14. Some more promotions
15. Set children on above path
16. Retire

It may be very familiar to you. Maybe it’s even your own life plan. It seems to be the life plan a lot of people follow. Often in this first education section it seems like the list, or apprenticeships, is your only option. This makes it easier for the education systems you are in. Dudley argues that “every person has a list of things in their head that you think you need to do for a life to be a success, and any deviation is reckless and stupid. It’s like you’re given a card at the beginning of life and they tell you get to the end of this list as fast as you can and tick as many as you can along the way.”

The key thing to remember is that YOU DID NOT WRITE THIS LIST. This is not your list! This is a list somebody else has written which is starting to define your life. You may well be following someone else’s agenda. This is a list that tells you to give up your passions if they don’t "make sense," and to walk away from things that make you happy because they do not fit.

I am here to remind you that your list does not have to look like this. It is allowed to include mistakes, changes of plan. You do not have to get things right first time. You are allowed to go back and have another go. You are allowed to change career, change relationship, stop everything and see the world. You are allowed to create new plans that suit you. If you like, you don’t even need to have a plan! You could just have a next step and leave the rest and see what happens. You are absolutely allowed to keep making changes in your life until it’s the life you would like. Regardless of what the list is in your head that you have to fill out so you feel that your life is worthwhile, please please ensure that it is your list. Because if you live your life chasing a list of someone else’s goals, you will always feel unfulfilled.

Here are Dudley’s 3 key messages:

1. You are more brilliant than you give yourself credit for, and far more brilliant than the current education system is set up to measure.
2. School is the last place you’ll spend time when how well you can do on a test is more valuable than your skills.
3. Work hard to make your marks extraordinary (they’ll open many doors for you) and work twice as hard to make sure they are the least impressive thing about you.

So if you're doubting whether the life you have right now is right for you, or if you're not sure where you're headed, or even if you're completely happy with your plan, just know that every feeling you have is valid. If you are looking for a sign to change your life and try something new, here it is! Go start something amazing! If you're sure that your path is the path for you, then I'm so very proud of you and you'll go on to do amazing things. Just remember to check from time to time that your list is still being written by you, and above all, try to make sure that you're happy with it.