What is the F.I.M.I. Theory?
The F.I.M.I. Theory is a well-known one. It's a simple, yet powerful, phrase: "Fake it 'til you make it". Simply put, faking it until you make it is a way of saying to pretend you are/have what you want until that thing is actually procured. Even more simply put, it means pretend you are what and who you want to be until it becomes a reality.
But, how does it actually work? Does it actually work? These are the questions we must constantly ask ourselves when trying to change our lives. Fortunately, I have dissected this theory over the past year and come up with some really interesting facts about it. Facts that I would like to share with you. Facts that can truly help you to change your life into the life that you aspire to have.
So... does it work?
In a manner of speaking, actually, yes! The F.I.M.I. Theory is based upon similar theories by those clever-minded scholars such as Aristotle and Alfred Adler, a dignified disciple of Sigmund Freud.
Aristotle believed in the 'as if' theory which theorized that to be good and righteous, one must act good and righteous. Adler added the therapy approach to the mix when he developed the 'acting as if' technique. The technique was created to assist in correcting dysfunctional behavior by acting as if the conditional behavior didn't exist. This practice is still used today and is often referred to by psychologists and therapists as 'role play'.
Thinking about it, the F.I.M.I. Theory is very much similar to the philosophy of Jeet Kune Do, philosophized and created by Bruce Lee. Jeet Kune Do took components from several different martial arts, sifted out the fancy-shmancy, ritzy-glitzy moves, and stuck to what works in every day life. It was an honorable theory as much as it was effective. The same principles apply to the F.I.M.I. Theory.
The Martial Aspects of the F.I.M.I. Theory
Much like martial arts, there are some aspects of the F.I.M.I. Theory that work, and some that don't. A real opponent is not going to stand still in front of you, waiting for you to complete two, complete 360 spins until you finally connect with their face. A real person isn't going to believe that you're a millionaire when you're shopping for groceries at Dollar General either.
Breaking the theory down into what actually works is the trick. Luckily, I have spent the past year doing just that. I have found that the F.I.M.I. Theory is comprised of three crucial, usable, aspects. This is achieved by asking yourself a series of simple questions, which are condensed into three general questions:
- How do I want to be perceived?
- How do I achieve this?
- How does it work/What will be the end result?
1. How do you want to be perceived?
First, you need to ask yourself how you're currently perceived vs how you want to be perceived. Ask yourself questions like, "What attitude do I give my family? Friends? Acquaintances and strangers?", "Do I want to be seen by others as confident? Successful? Level-headed and calm? Intelligent?".
For example, let's say that you want to be perceived as confident and intelligent, but you're painfully shy. You walk with your head down, you rarely speak your mind when others are having conversation and debates, and your biggest fears are criticism and eye contact. This doesn't portray confidence. So, how do you fix it? Well, it starts with changing your self-perception.
What is self-perception?
Self-perception is how you view yourself. This is the first thing you need to take into account before you start acting on this. If you don't perceive yourself as confident at all, not even a sliver, you can walk with your head staring at the stars and people will still perceive you as someone who struggles with self-confidence.
However, don't lose hope. This isn't an impossible feat, as much as you may think. We will cover how to act on this in step two.
How do I achieve my goals?
Obviously, to achieve this, you need to change your self-perception, not the perception of others. This is where a lot of people get confused and why this theory has been dignified as 'fake'. You must tell yourself, "I will fake it 'til I make it!".
If you leave your home worrying about what people think about you; whether it's the way you're dressed, the way you walk or talk, or just their general perception as a whole; you will come off as shy, detached, and flighty.
But, if you leave the house thinking to yourself, "I am confident and I don't care what people may or may not think about me, what I'm wearing/doing/getting, or how I'm acting," you will find that, every day, it get's easier and easier to leave your house; confidently.
I'm not promising that this will work the very first day, or even the very first week/month. It's a long process. But, if you're dedicated to changing your self-perception and the perception of you by others, you can do it!
WARNING!: This second step has a clause. Many people confuse acting confident with acting like a know-it-all, or overly confident. Walking around as if the world owes you something for being so great doesn't make others perceive you in a brighter light. It just makes you an asshole. You can be confident and still accept when you are proven wrong or respect someone who doesn't think the same way as you or hold the same values. Stay humble.
How does it work/What's the end result?
The last step is obviously the end result. But, with the end result comes a better, deeper understanding of the process that led you to that end result. As you go, it becomes more of a subconscious habit than an annoyance you need to remember every time you turn around. The end result is what you make of it. If you followed the steps and really work towards your desired perception of self, you will make it. If you don't, then you either weren't that motivated to continue working on yourself or you got disheartened/distracted.
A good way to keep yourself from getting overwhelmed and stay motivated is to note, mental or otherwise, the progress that you have made thus far as you see it, no matter how small (even your first day!).
If you are painfully shy and have decided to do something about it and, fifteen minutes later, have a conversation for more than five minutes with someone when normally they only last about two, that's progress! It doesn't seem like much, but it is and will help you stay motivated.
Another good way to keep yourself going is to continue reading about your issue and incorporate other techniques into the mix; as long as you don't forget your main focus or forget the core of what you are trying to accomplish (see first step).
Keep in mind that working on yourself is literally a lifelong process, whether it's consciously or subconsciously. Our lives are ever-changing due to a variety of aspects; economy, lifestyle, access to information, government changes, etc. However, if you can continue to want to be better and be better, this is a surefire way to accomplish just that and so much more!