The Chaotic Declaration of a Life Enthusiast

I love being alive.

I love seeing when the sky is purple and pink and orange, and I love watching storm winds flip vacant hammocks over, and I love listening to rain and watching the moon.

I love feeling emotions. I love being frustrated and having to work through it. I love being sad because I know I’m being honest. I love being happy and having those moments that make you know you’re doing okay.

I. Love. Living. I love watching my friends and loved ones grow. I love falling in and out of love, and struggling to fall in and out of love. I love learning to love myself. In fact, I love myself and I love being me. I love moments that you feel like the you-est version of you that there ever could be.

I love moments of clarity. Whether they’re brought upon by throwing back some alcohol, or getting a little high… I love when everything makes sense and the world becomes crystal clear. I love how the more you think about and appreciate the clarity, the more cloudy it becomes. I love sorting my way through the cloudiness and murkiness.

I love thunder and lightning. And I love those little electricity balls that everyone had as a kid that the lightning followed your finger around the sphere when you moved it because it made me feel like I had some control over the universe.

I love arguing and debating and sharing my views and opinions. I love hearing other people’s views and opinions, and using them to grow and better myself and my understanding of the world we all share. I love thinking about the universe and what else is out there. I love thinking about life after death, even though thinking about death itself terrifies me. I love thinking about the future, and recollecting on the past.

I love good music. I love hearing the perfect song at the perfect moment, and I love that there is always new beautiful music to be heard. I love when music can express what I’m feeling better than I can. I love being able to express what I’m feeling, and I love struggling to express what I’m feeling. I love when everything seems to be in harmony and I can just sit back and be still. When I can cling onto a perfect moment for as long as possible before the chaos of life takes over again. I love being able to have words come out fluidly. I love not having to think.. just speaking, writing, whatever.

I love knowing that family is forever and unchangeable. I love knowing that despite all the uncertainty in the world, there is also unconditional love.

I love when my handwriting comes out nicely. I love doing well in school. I love learning and sharing knowledge.

I love the song that just came on.

I love spending time by myself. But I also love spending time with the people that I love. And I really really love when I can spend everyday with someone and not get sick of them.

I love my school. I love the opportunities I’ve been blessed with, and I love every person who has helped me on the path to get me where I am. I. Love. My Life. Even when I hate my life, I love my life. I love life in general. I am grateful for the one I’ve been given, regardless of the fact that it can be horribly imperfect and difficult. I love that I still believe that my future will turn out alright, and I’ll find someone who loves me and loves life the way I do. And someone who loves that I love life the way I do. But I also love that I know I’ll be okay even if that doesn’t happen.

I love dogs. I love that I believe that nature-kind is inherently good and is all looking for the same thing.

I love that I care about my health, but that I also care about gratification and pleasure and spontaneity.

I love that I love. And I love that I know when to, and when NOT to love. I love that I’ve learned this through experience. I love that I can see the progress I have made, and that I understand that I am the way I am because of my life experiences. I love that my story is different from everyone else’s in the world. And I love that I have come to terms with the fact that I will never fully understand everyone’s, or even anyone’s story fully. I would love for someone to give me the opportunity to learn theirs, and for them to want to learn mine. I would love to put my love to use, and I would love a mutual love. But until then, I’ll continue to love anything and everything I can and feel I should because love is too good to go to waste. I want my life to be filled with love even when it feels like there’s nothing. So on I go.