The Best Version of Myself

Just like a wound that heals itself, so will you. In our weakness, there is strength. The same strength that endured the pain for us to be born. In my tears, there is happiness. There will be a time to cry and there will be a time to laugh. My tears won’t be a sign of weakness but, an expression of hope, loss, joy and sadness.

Hope knocked on the door to encourage me to go for that which scares me. Loss, knocked on the door, and I was never prepared for something so unexpected even if I know that every beginning has an end. I just never thought that it would hit so close to home. I never thought that I'd find myself heartbroken. I wish I could love myself back into one piece just as I broke. The shattered pieces went everywhere and I’m not quite sure if I can be who I used to be, with the same pieces. Maybe it’s time for a new version of me.

Sadness may keep me up at night but, joy will greet me in the morning. Sadness may take long to get over but, joy will defeat that which can’t last forever. I may be upset today but, tomorrow I will be fine. That tomorrow could be in a few hours, days, weeks, months or even years. Regardless of time, I know what I deserve and that is to live peacefully with love in my heart.

I’m learning to love myself and forgive myself for not always being the best version of myself. I'm sorry for all the times I lived beneath my worth. I’m sorry for all the times I thought I wasn’t enough. I’m sorry for all the times I had the answer within but, wanted to question it by making further mistakes. I didn’t always write down what I learned from my mistakes but, those lessons left an unforgettable mark on my soul.

I can never be who I used to be and I can’t remain here because, the future is changing. I understand that although this is my life, I wasn’t solely created for myself. Someone will learn how to smile again through me. Another, will learn how to love again because of me. I am the miracle waiting to happen in my own life for the purpose of others releases. First, I need to take care of my own health emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. I'm using this season to help others by helping myself first and I’m enjoying myself thoroughly.

Yes, life is full of so much joy. People, make us happy, the things that we love doing makes us happy and even a compliment from a stranger can brighten up our day. I personally love breakfast. Breakfast makes me feel like I'm on top of the world. I get excited just thinking about it. Another thing that makes me happy is genuinely feeling how happy I am within. There is a peace in this that can’t be explained. No matter what will happen from here on forth, I just hope that even if I lose everything, I hope that my inner happiness, that pure joy, my inner voice never loses me.

Through loss, pain, happiness and strength, I will find a way to always love myself. I understand that in life, we experience different versions of ourselves before we become our official self. Yes, life is full of pain too. We will never be able to stop the unexpected. All of our beginnings will one day come to an end. I just hope that I can say that I became the best version of myself and I lived my absolute best life.