The Appreciation of Time

One thing that has come to my attention fairly recently is people's use of time. We all have the same 24 hours in a day, but how you use those hours will be unique to you, and very specific. It will also be a good indication on how you value your time, and what it means to you. There are different ways to approach this and view this, and I think due to the complexity of the subject, I aim to break it down significantly enough for you to understand my point of view, and how I perceive things. I will not tell you how to spend your time. I will not advise the best way, I will not say you are doing it right or wrong, or that you are wasting it, nor spending it wisely. This is just how I perceive it, and how I view and spend my time.

The greatest healer is time; time heals all wounds (more emotionally, not always physically). I am sure you have all heard that before. I agree with these statements, mostly—only because I am partially a product of it. I remember talking to a counselor many years back about whatever it was I was going through at the time, and I specifically remember how I felt. And at one point she told me that one day, I would be all right. One day the situation wouldn’t affect me as it did then. I didn’t believe her. I felt so overwhelmed by the negative feelings I couldn’t believe how I could possibly stop feeling like that.

Alas of course I did, in the end. After many years. Reassurance is always a good thing, but one can’t rely on the words of “you will be all right” to stop the current situation from having an effect, especially if they don’t fully believe it, because they don’t see an “end” to their current situation, whatever that may be. It is how you deal with it in that situation that is important in helping you move forward. I asked someone once, what do you do? When the thoughts and emotions become so overwhelming you don’t know what to make of them or how to find clarity, as there isn’t a simple answer. And he said, “sometimes, you just have to deal with it.” This didn’t mean, suck it up and get over it, it means ride the wave, and move forward through the situation, rather than let it drown you. You will learn from the experience, but you can only do that as it happens, and as you experience it. How long you experience it there is no telling. But it is all definitely a matter of perspective, this is my perspective. I am not telling you that this is the way it is, and the only way, this is just how it is for me and I believe it can be applicable to others, partially or mostly. Time is not your enemy in this sense. It gives itself to you, for you to use to help “heal” yourself, or at least help yourself move forward. If that’s what you choose to do with it when you have it in that respect.

Imagine you had £86,400. You always had that amount, so whatever you spend, all or nothing, at midnight your bank would have that exact amount again. If you are walking down the street with all your cash, swaggering along and you suddenly realise you have dropped £10. Out of all the money you have, would you be concerned about that £10 knowing you will get it back tomorrow? I doubt it. It can be a similar principle, when you are going about your day, and someone uses 10 seconds of your time, to resent you/say something hurtful, some may spend the rest of the day worrying about that 10 second incident. In some cases it is understandable, some things can really affect us. But the point remains the same, those 10 seconds of your time is a small fragment of the other 86,390 seconds you have/had in that day. It isn’t always a case of just seeing it as that, sometimes you have to make a conscious effort to not let it affect you. Surround yourself with positivity, go watch your favourite TV show, read a book you like, distract yourself from that situation so the rest of the time you spend that day has so much value that those 10 seconds become even less significant.

There’s a lot of relatability surrounding time and emotions. I am not sure who said this, but it is said very well, “Time is slow when you wait, fast when you are late. Deadly when you are sad, short when you are happy. Endless when you are in pain and long when you are bored.” A lot of your “time” can be more related to your emotional state—you have had a long day because you didn’t enjoy every moment of it. Your day went quick because you were happily engaged the majority of the time. We all know how much time you had didn’t change, just how you felt during it. Is that important? Maybe. We don’t control how we feel, we can only influence it, or at least try to. When you are in a moment that you are enjoying, the part where it says, “time is short when you are happy,” regardless of how long that moment lasts, you become very aware of when the end of that moment is near. Whether it is time to go home, or you have to leave where you are, or you have had an amazing night with brilliant people, and now the sun is rising. The sunrise itself may be beautiful, but it is a harsh reminder that nothing lasts, not forever anyway. But where things end, it makes room for new beginnings. When you become aware of how much time you have left in a specific moment, and understand the emotional ties it has with that, the value of the time you have left increases, because only then do you emotionally understand, rather than just seeing numbers. A lot of people will only appreciate time, when it is convenient. And they only appreciate it for a short period. Ironically.

So my main and last point, I think: the appreciation of time. When one is busy, and busy most of the time, everything changes. The way time is managed, changes. The way they talk and act changes. In order to do everything you want to achieve in one day or a week, you have to correctly manage said time. You have to make each second count, or at least as many of them as possible. There isn’t an awful lot you can do when you're asleep, which means what you do when you are awake, that’s what counts. It doesn’t matter if you sleep four hours or eight, or maybe even 12. Sure there is the recommended amount, but it is different for everyone. It is what you do when you are awake that counts. Set goals and aspirations, however high, have a high demand for your time. And you notice it; it is why people who don’t have the same level of commitment as you, stop talking to you, because they don’t hold the same value for time as you do. It isn’t a bad thing, it means the people that spend their seconds in front of a TV, complaining about their situation, rather than using that exact same time to do something about it, won’t waste yours, because you’re too busy being productive. Well isn’t that lonely? It can be, if you don’t swap the time wasters for people in a similar boat to you, because there are a lot of people who use their time wisely, and because of that, they understand the value of your time, even if they don’t know how you spend it. It means that instead of complaining that you don’t talk to them enough, or go out enough, or slow down, or do less of this, or more of that, instead of the time they do spend with you, they appreciate it, because they realise you are taking time out of your busy schedule, time away from your commitments, to actually have a conversation! They don’t even tell you that, they don’t need to, they just show appreciation towards you. Man, when you are committed, and don’t have a lot of free time, when you spend time with someone else who is also committed, and they don’t have a lot of time, it’s a real nice thing. To know that they value you as a person to actually talk to you, and in a big way, help you, because man if someone who doesn’t have a lot of time because of what they are committed to is talking to you, you damn well have a lot to learn from that person, believe me. There is a lot to understand, and I can’t tell you what, because it is different to everyone. It isn’t just about how productive or not you are at work. It is also efficiency. I think a lot of your value can come from what you spend your time on. In some cases, not every one. But I want you to think about that.

To finish off I want to end on some phrases, the first one being “I don’t have time.” We all have the same 24 hours, so it isn’t how much you have, it’s what you prioritise. You may not have time to write that letter, or have that conversation, or do that piece of work, or go for a run. But you have enough time to watch TV, or scroll through social media? So, instead of saying “I don’t have time,” try saying, or at least thinking, if you want to avoid conflict, “that isn’t a priority,” because that would be more accurate. Maybe instead of saying “I don’t have enough time” you should say, “I need to manage my time better.” And then do it! Use a calendar to get your time in order so you can see in numbers and letters, when you need to do that thing. When you give structure to your day, and you plan out what you at least want to achieve, and by when, you get more certainty, and in turn reduce anxiety because there is less of the unknown. It reduces stress because instead of thinking, “I have all this work and not enough time,” you see how much work you have and when you are going to do it, and how long you can spend on it, almost exactly if you stick to it, so plan it out!

Thank you for using your time to read all of this. I hope it gave some food for thought, and that you found it somewhat valuable. This came from a conversation I had with a friend when I was comparing some of the people I interact with, and how there is a clear difference when it comes to appreciating the time spent, either with me or at least conversing with me. When you appreciate your own time, and appreciate other people's time, for me, there is such an element of kindness and compassion that it really does make the world a brighter place. Thank you.