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Surviving in the UK

It's not easy, but almost working!

By RoPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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I moved to the UK three years ago, to a beautiful small city "where the grass is green and the girls are pretty." I have been there three years and have still not adjusted yet.

Coming from the south of Italy, many things were really difficult to leave behind: From family to food, from the joy of a coffee in the morning to a more benevolent weather. And don't even let me start with the bidet!

These are all clichés of course, and I was definitely prepared for all of it. Spiritually, I mean. Once I made up my mind I decided that I could take it.

I wanted a PhD in an English-speaking country, and nothing could have stopped me. Indeed, nothing has stopped me yet.

So, I shipped over tons of winter clothes, bought a proper coat, packed my bag (I had my Moka and Neapolitan coffee with me) with all my goodwill, and left.

I was ready for all of it, except I wasn't. I had no idea the cultural shock could have been that huge. I didn't know I had to measure my words, my thoughts, the way I related to people. Soon it was clear I had to become a different person before I could be accepted.

Being Neapolitan was so far from that person that the pain was enormous and the results not good at all.

To be honest, I love it, being from Naples I mean.

Now, you may think we are too eccentric, loud, talkative, and maybe too "touchy," but the truth is: We are just spontaneous and we enjoy other people's company. We want to share everything: Time, emotions, memories, coffee, and more in general food. Yes, we are too loud and annoyingly touchy, but these are aspects that can easily be mitigated.

The one side that is impossible to smooth is the need for sharing, the necessity of having people with whom we can be ourselves.

And that I did not find.

Totally unprepared, I threw myself in my PhD project, working late hours and weekends until I had multicolored hair and was on the edge of depression with some panic attacks as well.

Of course, I hadn't realized it until a day I burst into tears when an academic asked how I was doing.

Once I knew something was wrong, it took many months to decide to do something, but I can tell for sure, pilates and physical activity got me out of it. This is not the answer for everyone, of course, but it was mine.

I have never been the athletic type and never been to a gym for more than two months. But this time I knew I had to start, and I haven't stopped yet.

It changed the way I walk, the way I look at myself, and I learned to connect my body with my mind. It made me understand that if I can handle a side plank I can handle all of it. It gave me a reason to leave work, stop putting in late hours.

It gave me back some me-time.

It made me balance my stress on my toes, strengthen my spirit together with my muscles, and smile whenever there was some pain.

Now I workout everyday, my hair is back to normal, and I didn't have to change my whole personality. I still love sharing my life with my friends, but I can take the solitude.

Living abroad is such a life-changing experience, but often being prepared is not enough, solitude and nostalgia can be difficult to handle.

How did you handle your time abroad?

Author's Note:The author knows that generalization is wrong and that not all Neapolitans are loud and touchy. No brits were abused to write this piece.

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About the Creator

Ro

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