Societal Norms

What exactly is normal? According to Google:

nor·mal |ˈnôrməl |adjective : conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

Fairly simple to understand, but what it doesn’t say is who’s standard. It’s normal to assume society sets the standard right. Your parents, people you hang out with, family members—anyone and everyone makes up society. The question is, why are we following a standard set by someone other than ourselves?

Why do we insist on making our lives uncomfortable just to ‘look’ like the person next to us. Why do we have to be successful as them, why do we have to wear the similar style of clothes? Why do we feel that because we aren’t married like them, we never will we or something is wrong with us? Why do we feel unsuccessful or unaccomplished because we don't have some fancy degree like them, or a house, a car... The list is infinite.

There is an answer to why. It’s because we don’t value ourselves!

Every single person is born into different circumstances.

I’m sure we all know that wealthy person who seems to have everything going for them. When I say wealth, I mean in any way—popular, successful, pretty/handsome, have money, got the girl/guy, are ‘lucky’ etc. We look at these people and think, "I wish I was like them." But do you really? Do you know if they liked what they had to study at school to maintain a certain image of their parents/family business? Do you know if they can even take care of themselves in an emergency? Do you know if the girl/guy they are with is with them because of their money and social status? Are you sure that, behind closed doors, this perfect guy/girl isn’t controlling or abusive in some way. Do you know if the money just hides their inner loneliness? Do their parents argue every night? It can be positive stuff as well. Do you know they got an 'A' because they were paying attention in class and studied and studied? Do you know they have money because they work really hard maybe even beyond and extra? The list of questions can go on and on, you don’t know anything other than what they choose to show you.

The thing is, we would never know.

What I know about myself is I left home when I was 18 and today I am alive and well, I can take care of myself in an emergency, I know my fiancée loves me for me (we’ve both been out of jobs for different periods and we’re going strong supporting each other through everything), I worked hard to be where I am and I am reaping the benefits of MY hard work. I know that I am grateful for always having food to eat, clothes to wear, a safe and comfy place to stay every night. So many people don’t have those three (last) things. I also know I am happy. Yes, I would love to have so much more material things but they won’t make me happy. Heck, I don’t use so much of the clothes, shoes, makeup I already own.

Be yourself, figure out what makes you happy on the inside, who or what brings a smile on the inside and then let people really see you smile. You may not figure it out tomorrow, but if you spend as much time thinking about what you DO have as you spend thinking about what you don’t have, it will all fall into place.

You never know what anyone has or has gone going through to get where they are. Just because someone is doing something doesn’t mean it’s right or the answer to happiness. It probably the right answer to their happiness. No one can tell you what will make you happy, only you can figure that out.

Stop allowing society to mold you into an ideal of what is normal. Be abnormal, who cares, once you’re happy. Stop comparing yourself to others, everyone is on a different part, everyone has different lessons to learn, learn yours and be happy.

Stop losing sleep over something bad someone said, tomorrow is a new day, wake up and become a better version of yourself knowing you are worth it. Show them that they have no effect on you. Who are they to judge you anyway. And they’re also going to judge you no matter what, so you might as well be you.

Trust yourself to be you, give yourself the power to become who you were meant to be, everyone is worth it. Every life matters whether you’re rich or poor, have a job or don’t, every single one matters. No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to live someone’s else’s life. So you might as well start living yours. Baby steps, huge jumps don't matter. And why don't they not matter? Because it’s YOUR life!

I DARE YOU TO MAKE TO CHANGE THE MEANING OF NORMAL TO:

nor·mal | ˈnôrməl | adjective : conforming to a standard set by yourself; usual, typical, or expected from/by/of yourself .

P.S. The next time you have a bill to pay, try paying it with the opinion of the person you’re comparing yourself too. See how you feel after you realise, they’re not paying your bills, YOU ARE!

P.P.S. if you read this and say 'I am happy,' then I am happy for you and wish nothing but continued happiness.