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Social Goodness

Forget social pressure. Do what makes you feel good.

Hey All,

This is my first piece, so please forgive me if it is a little rough around the edges. I merely just like to write and enjoy trying something new, so here I am.

As I'm getting older, I'm learning a new 'life lesson' each and every day. Recently, I've discovered how important genuine friendship is. I know that's always been a message repeated to us from day one, but honest and genuine friendship (I think, anyway) is hardly recognized nowadays.

For someone like me, a bit of an introverted and anxious lass, I was always so worried about making friends, getting to know people, and my main goal in life was to be perfect and liked by everyone. That was SO WRONG of me. Surrounding yourself with the maximum amount of people isn't always the best option.

The main goal in life I have right now is to be comfortable and to do whatever makes me feel stable and comfortable. Let's take this weekend, for example; my older sister came to visit me and the first time in a long time I enjoyed a night out pressure-free because of the company I had.

There is always pressure to have a great amount of friends, to be making the most of everyday, to live your life to fill, to seize every opportunity and to always enjoy yourself... Does anyone agree with me when I see this and think, 'Get lost!'? Who cares if I have less than five friends, who cares if I am not always productive and I like to keep to myself?

Being honest and true to yourself is about doing what makes you feel good and using your time well in a way that's beneficial to you. That was a hard realisation for me recently. I made some tough decisions regarding friendships; however, accepting my true nature and what is good for me has made a world of difference recently.

I won't lie, it took work to get to this reality and to be kind to myself and accept I don't have to be 'a social bee' to be happy. 

Here are little tips I live by each day to ensure I remind myself I don't need to pressure myself...

  1. At the start of the day, list five things you like about yourself. Whether it is your eyes, your humour, your hair length... Anything that represents you and your personality, emphasise it to yourself. 
  2. When you are making plans for the week/weekend, instead of booking to see those you 'should' see, actually think the following: "Who makes me feel good?" "Who can I genuinely relax with?" and "Who doesn't make me feel anxious or stressed, make me feel pressure?"
    • ** 2 is so so important—well, I think, anyway. I used to always make plans with people and feel anxious beforehand because I knew I wasn't going to be as relaxed with them as I would be myself, or would have to adapt for them — your spare time is so important, use it wisely.**
  3. At the end of the day, list five things that made you feel good, whether it was a nice meal you had, a good conversation with a colleague, or some down time. Recognizing what works for you and your mood really helps. 
  4. When I have my down moments, this is where I realize how many genuine friends I have; I will decide who I can call, text, or even write a letter to. Reach out to those you know you can be yourself with. I don't always send the letter but appreciating those close to you for who they are emphasizes that friendship even more and how much they contribute to you and your wellness. 
  5. Embrace who you are and accept it. If you are a little introverted like me, it's okay not to be a social bee. The world would be such a boring place if we all were (and probably far too competitive, too!). If you push yourself to adjust for others or to not be judged, you won't do yourself any good. 

We all have that fear of being judged by others, and unfortunately I think that is just human nature. Not everyone is going to accept you or like you, that's why it is so important to use your true nature, qualities, time and effort on those who make you feel good in return. 

A true friend will be someone who loves you unconditionally, for your ups and downs, for your likes and dislikes, your faults, your weird ways and for you and your true nature.

Chatter over. The main point I'm trying to make is be kind to yourself and don't place pressure to follow the social rules.

Do what makes you feel good, with the people that make you feel good.

Thanks for reading.

Love, Beth. 

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