Shadow Needs the Sun

A Shadow Needs the Sun.

A line from one of my favorite poems and song by original Simon Steadman and Charlton Pettus For Always. Love poem about everyone needing someone, comparing the shore needs the ocean to be called a shore, and your shadow is not visible without the sun, and a candle needs a flame. Everything is connected, it's all fitted together to make things work.

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I grew up sheltered and controlled by my whole life in a small town. Little did everyone now I was living in the shadows of my protective family, and there is much of the world I do not know about and it's frightening sometimes when I think about it.

School was my getaway but also the worst years of my life. Earning the title, the bully victim, an outcast, and judged by her peers who did not know the real her. I wasn't allowed to go to sleep-overs like a normal child or join clubs after school, football games or parties my friend went to but my family forbid it.

Did I rebel? Yes.

I rebelled in a safe way, when I went to the movies with my friends, we went somewhere else and I didn't tell my family where I was because I knew how to be safe and the dangers around me. May not seem like rebelling but the worse kind of rebel I did was I took off from my home and didn't come back till late. I left my phone at home one time, and couple of times with me, I went to my friends house and they called me hundreds of times to come back home or where I was because I was tired of being stuck at home because I was bored and missing out what my friends were doing.

The day I turned 16, I was ecstatic to get my permit and drive, a dream any kid dreams of, only I was forbidden once again. I was driven to school three to five minutes from my home where we lived. Walk distance took five minutes, and we were driven every day since then and high school was the time I walk home three to four times a week.

Today, I'm more open of the world, and most of the time my family tries to control me, and now I am a grown up. I have to put my weight into my work. I am going to school to become a nurse, saving up for a car, my education, and move out of my house to become independent.

Some say I don't belong in this world. My grandfather taught me there is somewhere in this world where I belong when i set my mind, place, weight and confidence. Show the world who I am. No one going to take that away from me.

My friends from the school I am going, we created a backup plan if we don't pass for state, we get jobs, and earn our wages for college, transportation and there are other ways to make to medical field. I love to help aide people back to health, highest point of recovery, and someone to be there for them. Makes me happy to see someone happy, and doing my job.

One day, I will be okay once more. When I look up up the horizon as the sun soars through the sky, and the color change from clear blue to pink, orange and purple, and then another day has gone. Tomorrow is the future, and I cannot give up. We all shouldn't.

I may not have done anything in my childhood or in high school, I cannot change my past but I can change my future. I can make it happen between school, work, and in my free time with friends and family. Like my cousins.

Everyone needs someone in their lives, but the most important factor is yourself. You need to remind yourself every night and morning, you matter, you did a hard day's work like cleaning your room, survived an eight hour shift at Walmart or driving an Uber. We all have to start from the bottom and work your way to to the top. We are all smarter than we think, if we really want it, we cannot stand and sit around waiting. Get on your bike, car or even walk to the nearest distance and fill out you want to work and earn it, save it, and you'll become successful than you ever thought you could. No matter what age, young or older, you earned your title, and not make the same mistakes your parents or close relatives made because of insecurities or the high and lows of becoming successful. You're success starts with you.

I did not have a mother and father growing up. I'm not my parents, I am me. It is a struggle to remind yourself like it's easier said than done, but I am writing right now to show the world I am not just someone you throw on TV and be public knowledge by the end of the day. My goals are coming true one step at a time.

I thank my grandparents for raising myself and my older sister. They filled in both roles, the hardest role they were given, and we need to appreciate our loved one before they leave this world someday. Writing has always been a part of my life and sharing my story because what if there is someone out there sharing similar traits to my background and worked their way to become who they are today.

You need yourself. I need me and one day I will find someone who will love me for me. Love yourself, respect, and give it a push.

I belong in this world. I want to share more as I'm going to school, and earning my title to be a nurse. I want my story to reach out, and if you're reading this right now, please do not rebel like I did because it may seem safe from my point of view but something could have happened, they were only protecting me. Children eventually leave the nest and explore the world. Can't protect you from the world forever. I was being protected from the world growing up till almost now, and and it's like "How come I was never introduced to this when I was growing up?"

I'm facing it one step at a time. I want to thank everyone for reading and taking the time today to read this post. I want post more stories as I go along and grow with you as one community. I dedicate this post to my family, for loving me and caring for me when I need you, to my friends whom I love and putting up with my shenanigans.

My name is Alyssa. This is my story.

"A shadow needs the sun, everyone needs someone. I need you. You'll be alone, every day I love you even more. For Always."

Replace dots with actual dots. (.) Inspiring favorite songs. Highly recommend.