Self-Care Is Not Selfish

It was 5:30 AM and I has snoozed my alarm 3 times already. I rolled out of bed and started strategically planning how I was going to get my four children up without having to deal with backlash. Normally I could take several rounds of the lights on lights off game, or my daughter waking up and then going in the bathroom and falling to sleep on the bathroom rug. I just didn't have the energy today, I was truly tired. Every morning was a miracle, getting four people not including myself fed watered and in four separate locations and still managing to get my ass in my seat at work by 8:30. I had a doctor's appointment that day before work. I can remember feeling anxious about all the work that was waiting for me at my job, while sitting in the doctor's office waiting for my results. I could never just be in the moment, I was always stressing about work, bills, dinner, my son's behavior in school. Here I was waiting for results that could be life changing, and I was thinking about everybody but myself.

The Doctor came in and said, "You are stressed out. Everything came back normal but I am looking at you and you look tired." He checked my heart rate, it was accelerated. He asked me what I did for myself? I started crying and laughing at the same time. Hell, I think I went crazy for a moment. I am a single mother, with a failed marriage, and four kids. I don't have time for me. The next thing he said changed my life. He looked at me as if he felt so sorry for me and said, "If you don't make time for you to be well, your body will make you make time for illness. Stress is a silent killer and you have got to find some kind of way to de-stress."

I walked out of his office defeated. I felt like as long as my kids were taken care of I was good.

I signed up for a yoga class that had a daycare in my town and I started writing again. Slowly, I started to feel alive again. I didn't even realize I was on auto pilot going nowhere fast. I started taking vitamins, and changing the way I ate.

I learned that:

1. You cannot pour from an empty cup. I wasn't even really being all that I needed to be to children because I was always on E.
2. Work life balance—we live in a society where work follows you everywhere. I had to intentionally UNPLUG.
3. I had to forgive myself for being who I needed to be to survive. It was time to change gears and begin to thrive.
4. I had to be consistent and creative at finding time to enjoy me. After some trial and error, I found I couldn't go without it.

I found that by caring for myself, I was able to better care for others.

As an empath that so freely gave my gift to the world, I had to learn how to have empathy for myself first.

Be well and be good to you.