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What a word, eh? So simple, but sometimes so complicated and hard.
In the latest DC’s superhero movie Shazam!, we watch Zachary Levi portraying a 14-year-old boy in a man’s body who becomes a superhero.
This boy is named Billy Batson, and he meets an old wizard who gives him the power of a superhero. He just needs to say the word: “Shazam!” and then he becomes this super strong adultish dude with a white cape.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we just need to say “the” word and everything changes? We’d be superheroes with tremendous strength and cool catchphrases.
Oh, what a life that’d be!
But in reality, it isn’t that easy. You can’t just say a word and everything will be fine. Except maybe “Yes” or “No” at a proposal. And even that is still a very tricky thing and sometimes doesn’t seem as easy as it should be.
So while Zachary Levi was promoting the movie, I listened to some of his interviews and one thing really got me. Zach openly talks about therapy and how important self-love and self-worth are.
My favourite part of this tweet is:
“(…) trust that you are worthy of it all, simply because you ARE.”
I personally know how hard it can be to practice and live self-love. I’ve been struggling with it for years, but every year and every moment it gets easier and easier. I promise! ;-)
You just need to keep working on it. I also know that it’s not a thing you can easily learn, BUT it’s totally worth all the effort!
Over the years, I learned a few lessons on how to practice more self-love and I also got some new inputs from Zach and his interview with Jay Jetty on the podcast On Purpose.
So I want to share my three most important learnings with you, and maybe some of them help you to unlock your self-loving superhero.
1. Watch your self-talk!
Nothing is more crucial and important to self-love than the way you talk to yourself.
Are you kind and understanding? Or do you call yourself an idiot or even worse? Do you always complain about yourself and only see your flaws?
Until two years ago when I started therapy, I was my own worst judge. I judged myself stricter than any other human being walking this beautiful earth.
“I’m such a bad person! Why did I do that?”
“How could I be so dumb? So naive?”
“Gosh, I’m so fat and ugly.”
“I’m too weird. I should be more like the others.”
“No one will ever love me.”
“I hate my body. I mean, look at this fast ugly belly. No wonder you don’t have a boyfriend.”
Oh yeah, my blame game was strong!
These are only a few examples of what I told myself on a regular basis, and the worst thing is that sometimes I didn’t even notice.
These thoughts ran through my mind in high speed and made me feel miserable. Every single time I put all the blame on me and made myself small. Made myself feel like a bad person, bad friend, bad daughter, or bad sister.
It was horrible! And please, if you do the same, STOP IT!
Now when I remember these days, I feel sorry for my younger self. How could I let that happen to me?
But I didn’t know better at that time and so I forgave myself and moved on to a better and more loving life. You can do the same.
So be aware of how you’re talking to yourself and how this makes you feel!
The best advice about self-talk I’ve ever received (and in the interview with Zach I heard he had a similar wake-up-call, which is funny) was when my therapist asked me:
“Would you talk like this to your best friend?”
Hell, no! NEVER EVER!
Well, then you should start to treat yourself like your own best friend and be kinder and more forgiving to yourself.
2. Know your worth!
Another thing I learned about self-love is that it needs a good and strong foundation. And this foundation is called self-worth.
If you don’t feel worthy of love, you can’t never love. Especially not yourself. Let me tell you that:
YOU deserve love. YOU deserve kindness. YOU deserve everything what you wish for and what makes you happy. Just because you are you.
It’s a wrong belief implanted in ourselves that we think we are not enough. That we think we are unworthy.
Unfortunately for all of us, there’s no such thing as an old, strange wizard who will tell you that you are the chosen one. That you will be the superhero of your life and you just need to say one magical word.
Even though this would be freaking amazing!
But what you can do is be your own wizard and superhero.
You only need to recognize for yourself how wonderful, amazing, and awesome you are. And that you are more than enough and worthy.
Even if you don’t see it at first, trust me, you’ll get there. Because, and I know I’m repeating myself but I don’t care, YOU ARE ENOUGH. We all are.
3. Say and live the WORD!
There’s one moment in the interview with Jay Jetty on his Purpose Podcast (btw, I highly recommend this episode!) with Zach, when he literally yells “Empathy! Empathy! Empathy!” several times.
This not only made me laugh because he chanted it like a freaking Popsong-Hymne, but also because this is SO important for self-love and self-worth.
You need to have empathy with yourself and, of course, others. And I don’t know about you, but I experience more and more that people seem to lose empathy.
But aren’t we all just humans who deserve to be loved and love? So, spread some kindness and empathy, guys! Sparkle it all over each other!
Empathy is not only a beautiful word and totally worthy as a Popsong-Hymne. It’s also another key for loving yourself.
Like I said, if you don’t feel for you and treat yourself with kindness, respect, and empathy, you won’t be able to wholeheartedly love yourself and others.
Empathy wouldn’t allow you to talk bad about yourself and others.
Empathy helps you to be kind and understanding to yourself.
Empathy helps you to forgive more.
Empathy helps you to know that you are enough and that you are worthy of love.
That is my word of this freaking year!
So let’s just all run around and say the words:
EMPATHY and SELF-LOVE!
Because that’s not only what we need, but also the world.
Mentioned Podcast: On Purpose with Jay Jetty and Zachary Levi