Promises to Myself I Will Quit Breaking Before 2019

Recently, I have found myself really inspired by author, lifestyle blogger, and entrepreneur, Rachel Hollis. She has this movement called The Last 90 Days, which inspires people to keep pushing towards their goals during the last 90 days of this year. Don’t wait for the New Year to make resolutions. Find the resolve NOW. Yes, there are only three(ish) months left in the year, but that is no reason to stop chasing your aspirations. There are specific goals to follow for the Last 90 Days movement, and I recommend you check that out if you are interested.

Another thing Hollis speaks a lot about the value of the promises you make to yourself. She says to ask yourself if you would be friends with someone who treats you the way you treat yourself. I know I am not alone in this, but I am the FIRST person I break a promise to. This NEEDS to stop because it is training my brain to not put trust in myself. Therefore, these are the promises to myself I will quit breaking to before the end of 2018.

“I will workout tomorrow.”

At the start of 2018, I made I promise to myself to start taking my health more seriously. I started going to an endocrinologist for my PCOS, I joined an eating program my work offers, and I started working out. I have been off and on following these principles this whole year losing and re-gaining about 20 lbs. The reason, I think, I keep breaking this promise to my self, is that I have not been approaching my health holistically. My hope was that healing my physical health it would magically cure my mental health. It didn’t, and my self-esteem has been lower than its been in years. What I learned is that I need to cure my emotional connection to food before I can have a healthy relationship with it.

My plan moving forward: THERAPY! For someone who is such a huge advocate for it, I am terrible at following through on it. This is going to change before 2018. My goals with therapy are to focus on my anxiety and my unhealthy relationship with food. The second thing I am going to do is see a dietician that specializes in eating disorders. SURPRISE! Binge eating is an eating disorder, and I am not equipped to handle it on my own. Coming to terms with the fact that I have an eating disorder has been a huge realization for me this year, and now its time to fix it.

“I’ll write/edit/film/WHATEVER after work.”

Another realization from 2018 is that I don’t want to work in an office forever. Don’t get me wrong! I actually really love my current job and the people that I work with. I just don’t feel fulfilled by the work that I am doing, and 40 hours a week is a lot of my life to waste on something I am not passionate about. So, what does make me feel this way? Creating. It seems silly, but I owe this realization to the musician, author, and YouTuber, Gabbie Hanna. It was through watching her videos that I decided I could do what I love. All of it.

I have big dreams that many think I should have let go by now. I want to be a blogger, an author, a YouTuber, and a musician. I’ve wanted all of these things for most of my life but believed I would have to choose. Gabbie Hanna inspired me to not give up on any of dreams. I know this all sounds cheesy and a bit delusional, but I believe I can achieve these goals. The struggle is knowing that this will take a lot of hard work and perseverance. This struggle is worth it to me, but lately, I haven't been putting in the energy to this dream that I need to be.

I keep using my full-time job as the excuse for not having the energy or the time to do the work that I love. These excuses are frankly bull-crap, and I am not going to allow myself to feed those lies any longer.

My plan moving forward: I am by no means an early bird. Waking up is my WORST enemy. Recently though, I have found myself inspired by the Rachel Hollis quote: “I don’t know anyone who is chasing their dreams that doesn’t get up before the sun.” For someone who wakes up 15 minutes before they have to leave for work, this concept is incredibly convicting. For the rest of 2018, I am going to wake up AN HOUR earlier than I normally do to spend time working towards my big dreams. This will mostly include things like writing articles for vocal, writing for my blog, or editing for my YouTube channel.

I think this will also help me to feel more productive throughout the day. If I can achieve a sense of accomplishment before the sun even rises, I will have a greater sense of empowerment, as I enter the rest of my tasks for that day. Doing this one thing for myself each day really sets the tone for how I will approach the day's tasks.

“I am going to love myself.”

This one is really tough one to write about. In college, I really felt that I had overcome most of my childhood insecurities. Turns out, I was just suppressing them. I spent way too much of 2018 feeling bad about myself: my weight, my success, and my situation. I think this partially stems from the transition of seeing my friends every day to hardly at all after graduating college, but I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that the majority of my self-doubt comes from caring WAY too much about what others think about me. I have been letting complete stranger’s opinions of me dictate my self-worth. This stops NOW.

My plan moving forward: Learning to love myself is an ongoing process, and the first step for me is to accept that. Accepting who I am in this moment and not just who I will become. This requires that I address my insecurities head on, and question the negative self-talk in my heart. The true key to loving myself, though, is gratitude. Loving myself, as I am now, means being more grateful for what I do have in life and the things I have accomplished. You can’t be better than you were yesterday if you don’t know who you are today I shouldn’t be taking my current blessings for granted just because I am focused on improving. Per the Last 90 Days Challenge, one thing that is helping me stay grounded in gratitude is writing down the 10 things I am most grateful for each day.

Lastly, I leave you with this video from Rachel Hollis, the overall inspiration for this article. If you feel you need that extra motivation to seize today, I suggest you watch it. My hope in posting this is to inspire others to tackle these last days of the year with fervor. Whether you take what I am doing, or come up with your own methods, my hope is that you don’t take this time for granted. Continue to work on your goals, despite the hustle and bustle of the upcoming holidays. You owe it to yourself. 2018 isn’t over yet.