Procrastination Station

This is me, a procrastinator. The person that will go onto every stupid website and scroll the entire thing just to put off a task. The person that will do half of a task then hate myself later for having so little left to do. All I want right now is a cigarette but I'm suppose to have quit. I'm mad at myself for that too. School. I dream of it daily. DAILY. I went for a year, LOVED IT, failed. Didn't bother continuing. I tell myself every day its never too late but guess what! The more I say it the less time I have. In reality I still have all the time in the world. I've gone to school with people that have children and that are married... it's literally never too late. But I need that career because I feel like a failure at life because I'm literally just a canteen manager. I still don't even know what I want to be when I grow up. I'm 25! 25!There's no going back, only forward.

Work. I work with teenagers that don't understand the value of work. I want a raise but I also want out. I need out. PSA: (I don't actually know what that means, this is just an assumption) never work with your best friends. I want to yell at her yet I want to help her with everything all at the same time. I feel like I get let in on all the secrets then taken full advantage of. Do you know how difficult that is? I'm sure a few of you out there understand what I'm talking about. I'm stuck in the hardest spot I've been in a while.

Travel. We'll just skip right too it. I get to go on vacation, well deserved. Needed. I have not been this excited in a while. Guys, I'm going to China! This is for sure a bucket list item. 10 days! 22 hours on a plane!

Stress. My life has been beyond stressed. I'm kind of depressed. I hate to brag about myself but I like to think I am pretty happy, burst of energy. A pretty, uh I hope I'm getting this right, Happy-go-Lucky kind of person. You know those posts you see on facebook, "always keep a close eye on your happiest friends" lately that feels kind of true. Now don't panic. I'm not going anywhere but if I'm not surrounded by my friends or a happy moment everything runs through my head. Its never fun. I basically just sit here in my own self-loathing.

Friends. I have my best friends. I know who they are. I know what I can tell who. Somedays they piss me off most days I love them. Aren't all friends like that though? They will come up in future events. Don't you worry. But only on a first letter bases. I can't give away my secrets toooo much.

Welcome to my start of something. Hopefully its more than nothing. Im better than the procrastinator in me. I PROMISE! Time for things to change guys! I can do this!!!!

The start of a new beginning.