Oh, the Places We Don't Dare to Go

I sometimes think about how society seems complacent when it comes to education and the workforce while waiting for the water to boil or shampooing my hair. I often wonder if there are others who think about why we let the systemic pressure to conform dictate how we live our lives and, as a result, steal our happiness and fulfillment away from us, as often as I seem to do.

The past year of maternity leave has left me with a lot of time to ponder over my future and what is next. Do I go back to the same customer service industry that left me depressed and exhausted? I recently had a conversation with a friend on the demeaning position of customer service representatives. There still seems to be an undertone of social class and disrespect. "The customer is always right" thought process conjures up images of kissing... we'll say rings.

I had made a vow to myself at a young age to not be the kind of mother that worked sixty hour weeks and was too tired upon coming home to spend time with her child. I saw my mother struggle as a single parent most of the time to balance her life as I grew up, and I knew I wanted more for myself and for my son.

Although I pride myself in having gone to a private elementary and charter middle school, and being the first person in my family to have graduated high school, I repeatedly get dismissed as an intellect for not having any post secondary education. People see me as a young, uneducated mother with a history of one of the lowest paying job fields. I am summed up by my wage, my debt, and my degrees, or lack there of.

I chose, instead, the path to take my saved funds and travel to Europe. I collectively spent a month and a week in different European countries costing me around ten grand. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. Instead of schooling, I chose to move to a small town by the water, try my hand at owning a business, buy a house, and start a family with my husband. Two failed business and a foreclosed house later (and a lot more debt), I am still choosing happiness over material possessions and money. Failing again and again does not a failure make, but rather a person of great courage and determination on the road to success. I don't believe a piece of paper determines my self worth, intelligence, or my success in life. Success is not measured in numbers or assets, in my opinion, but in the degree of enjoyment of life.

So many books and movie plots center around people hustling away, working the majority of their years, and for what? To have a mid-life existential epiphany or "crisis" and throw it all away for a down-to-earth self-realization. Then in the end, fighting for what makes them truly happy because life is short and we don't know how much time is left on our individual clocks.

High school was torture in itself, but then add to it the pressure to determine our path in life before the age of majority. What an absurd concept. I always prided myself in my freedom to not feel indebted or pressured to follow the status quo. I hope to instill this sentiment and confidence in my son. Oh, I know of the snide quips and judgmental remarks behind my back. I know the way they see me. I've dealt with it all my life. Even my AP teachers admonished me for not continuing my education, saying I could have "gone places" and that I "displayed such potential." I won't apologise for my decisions because I know my worth as it stands. I know my journey is not conventional because it is of my own making. I also know that in order to make the most of my time earthside, I need to disregard their words and keep on being true to myself. That means following my desire to create for a living. That is where I am truly happiest. The educational system that I grew up in told me I couldn't make a living off of this pipe dream, but my mother reinforced my determination by teaching me that anything is possible with some elbow grease.

Although I'm no achieved literary prodigy, by no means an up and coming vocalist, distinguished artist, or renown animal and environmental activist, I am still happily enjoying my life by following my passions in the ways that I can manage. The debt that I've incurred is debt I won't regret.

How someone can live the majority of their life waiting for it to finally begin and doing something they have no enjoyment doing in the meantime, collecting things that bring them momentary and superficial happiness is beyond my scope of understanding, and brings me so much sadness for them. Our time is so fleeting. I plan on spending nearly every moment chasing my own goals and not measuring my success in status or currency. I will not take part in the rat race.

It brings to mind the book by Dr. Seuss titled Oh, The Places You'll Go! It introduces the idea of The Waiting Place where people wait for life to happen to them. The narrator encourages the reader to take the world by storm and to follow their heart. He mentions the fact that going down this road towards adventure will be frought with hardships, but the reader will be able to overcome them with perspiration, persistence, and courage. How is it that somewhere in between the time we read this children's book and the time we graduated high school, some of us have forgotten the Doctor's words of wisdom?

When I was twenty-two years old, I wrote myself a letter. Summed up, it spoke of the fear of rejection and humiliation and that when I feel these sentiments, it marks the need to re-evaluate what is truly important in life. Struggling for what I love and care about is more fulfilling and worth the effort. I am not obligated to make anyone happy with my decisions save myself, and there is no one way of doing things. I ended the letter stating that nothing is more important than loving yourself, loving what you do, and sharing that love with others.