Moving Along the Old Dusty Road

A lot of people never tell you that it's okay to take risks. In fact, a lot of people can agree with me that most of their life, they've been told to play it safe. Even the risk takers now-a-days say that they are always on the edge, but in reality, they play it safe, just like the rest of us.

Granted, coming from a family that hasn't had a lot of money, and has always had to work for everything we have, I understand playing it safe more than most. But sometimes I sit down, and I still can't believe it took me nearly eighteen to nineteen years to realize that risk-taking is an actual necessity in my life. It's something that keeps me feeling alive and happy.

Throughout my life there have been several things that made me feel like I was drowning. And I know for a fact that I'm not the only one because I believe it's a very human thing to feel trapped doing something that doesn't make you happy.

One thing that I can definitely remember is marching band. I was very iffy about it when I first joined. But after a little time, I grew to love it. Then further in, I grew to dislike it. Why? Well, being in high school, there's a couple of major things that everyone focuses on. One big one is dating.

For my high school life I was always pretty much by myself. I never really dated, but I had a lot of crushes. They were always guys that didn't like me back. (Forever the friend). Anyways, marching band became the same thing. Like a school away from school. Yes, I loved the competitions. I loved the thrill of getting to play music for people. But the off to the side time was very irritating.

There was always that group of girls who caught the boys attention, and it never included me. I was more of the afterthought mistake of the group. Although no one had the heart to tell me that, I definitely wasn't stupid or blind to it. What time I did spend with the people I liked, it was mostly making myself look like a fool because I sucked at interacting.

After all that mess of crushes and band competitions and getting yelled at by the instructor; quitting, I found, was the most amazing feeling of it all. Being able to quit and say "I'm not dealing with this anymore" gave me just the rush I needed to work on something else. Graduating.

Now, although I'm ashamed to say it...I do love quitting. The way that it's phrased in my head makes it seem like something completely different than what I'm actually saying. I don't like not finishing things. But when there's something in my life that I'm doing, that I don't enjoy, and I get the chance to say "NO MORE!" I mean, it's a pretty amazing feeling.

What I'm trying to say is by quitting marching band, I took the risk of not being able to do it again. I took the risk of losing several more memories that would have been precious to me in the future. Or several times that I could have become better friends with certain people, etc.

And you know what? I may have lost all of that, but in the end, I'm really happy that I chose to stop doing it. I got to experience what it was like, a simple taste was enough for me, and I decided to move on to the next dish. Which was graduating and finding out who I truly was in the world.

People need to realize that part of being truly ALIVE is by taking risks. Even financial ones. I mean, I'm in debt. But who isn't? Millionaires. Yeah, but so what? Money is just money. And if we're worried about it, that's what math is for. Take action to sit down, figure out where the safe wedge is and take that risk.

Go on that trip. Buy that thing you've been looking at for months. Drive that distance. Surprise that person. Be honest. Take the risk. Because I'd be more ashamed of missing out on an amazing experience than sitting at home feeling financially safe.

Even if something goes wrong. Because if we're being honest with ourselves, sometimes things go wrong. Don't be discouraged. Don't fall into despair. Just wipe yourself off and keep going. Your crush doesn't like you? Okay, that sucks, I'm really sorry. But why not go on a trip? Or start a new hobby. Fill your time with adventures and mysterious journeys down dirty old roads instead of moping about something that you can't control.

In the years since I've graduated, I've worked a total of four jobs, on top of going to college to get my credits for the first two years. I have also moved four different times. I've met several people. Some that I still talk to, and some that I wish I never met. I got married, adopted three beautiful feline babies, went on several fun road trips and am now staying at home, spending my time recreating myself and goofing off with my best friend, who also happens to be my mother.

There are some things I regret, yes, but most of the stuff that I have done in the last three to four years have all been experiences that I don't think I would rather live without. I learned new trades, got to travel (which I love to do) and I have a family that I love in a place that I call home.

My progress is far from over, and no matter when the new year brings, my resolution will always be to love myself, be adventurous, take risks, and not to dwell so much on what could have been. There's only one life to live. Why not make it into the best damn storybook ever written?