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Love Yourself First

How Spending Time Alone Is Good for the Soul

Being a single woman in the heart of New York City can be challenging, however, it can also be rewarding. Those who are going through something alone, whether it's a breakup, death, depression, or anything else imaginable, just know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. New York is a big city and the internet has become a way of freedom for everyone to feel loved. Love the life you live and the rest will follow suit. Self-discovery takes time, dedication, and patience, but the self-satisfaction is life's biggest reward. 

Recently I went through a bad break up with someone I was really starting to develop strong feelings for. Although the relationship wasn't long, it was powerful in my eyes.  We split in February of this year after a few months of dating, and unfortunately, it was Valentine's Day weekend. Like most women, I took the first week to try and work things out, even though the damage had already been done. Then I moved on to crying my eyes out for the next two weeks. By the time a month had passed, I realized I had enough of being home all weekend watching a Sex and the City marathon, and eating ice cream like it was going out of style.

The inspiration for getting back on my feet? I had an upcoming interview in Long Island City and decided to check out the area so I knew where I was going come game day. It was a gorgeous but chilly Sunday morning and I had walked to my local subway with my mind and heart filled with emotions. I  suddenly remembered a friend of mine getting engaged at the Long Island City waterfront and got excited to check it out. First I went down to Grand Central and took a walk over to Bryant Park, which happens to be one of my favorite places in midtown to see the progression of seasonal changes in the park. It was a mess, certainly not ideal for pictures. Anywho, as I walked around the park, listening to Pink's "Leave Me Alone" I realized this was my ex's loss and 100 percent my gain. I slowly started the process of feeling like myself again and boarded the 7 train down to Queens. I was nervous at first since I wasn't familiar with the area but I eventually relaxed and realized I was spending time with myself in public for the first time in a few years. 

When I got to the waterfront, I was blown away by the beauty and the lack of people in the park. I figured it would have been crowded but I guess most people don't find 46 degrees and sunny to be gorgeous. It was perfect. I enjoyed a vanilla cappuccino as I snapped pictures and began to critique myself on some of the choices I made. I knew I made the right decisions for myself at that time and remembered my mother had always taught me everything happens for a reason. After an hour at the waterfront, I decided to head back towards my apartment but made an extra stop at Hudson Yards and walked towards the high line.  I love the high line and have walked it quite a few times, but this would be the first time I would walk it alone. Walking amongst the sea of people, and taking more pictures, I began to dig deeper into my past, even getting teary-eyed over some of the losses I endured (way more significant than any of my ex's). I also had thought I was the problem, and honestly, I partially was. Sure I could have done things differently (hey we all make mistakes), but when it comes to love, I've always been betrayed in some way shape or form. I have absolutely no regrets in the way my last relationship ended. When someone walks backward to try and move forward, it's a recipe for pure disaster, or as I like to call it, desperation. 

That's the crazy thing about love, we never know where we are going to end up, or with who, but trying to get to our happy place in life is the most fun we will have. Some people, like my ex, feel they need to retrace their steps to find happiness and others, like myself, wish the past didn't exist. We may fall in love once, multiple times, or maybe not at all, but in order to know ourselves and our full capabilities in this mission called life, we must spend time with ourselves to know what we want. That day I learned a little more about myself and self-love, which is the most important type of love. We need to love ourselves before we can accept love into our hearts and genuinely love others. Keep confident, stay strong, and love yourself. You always get what you give, so give yourself the best and don't settle for less. 

Jess Tedeschi
Jess Tedeschi

I'm an ambitious single  living in the heart of New York City. Passionate about mental health, travel, photography, and food. I choose to never give up and constantly explore the world around me.

 IG: JustJessie202 

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