Feels like emptiness when I go out at night.
Feels like loneliness and loneliness if fine.
Feels like emptiness but the emptiness is mine.
Feels like loneliness and loneliness is fine.
The melancholic song "Loneliness is Fine" by Vast was blasting in my ears as I walked along the empty, abandoned roads of my little hometown in south-east Poland at 5 AM after a sleepless night. There was no living soul outside; the town is very small so there isn’t even any hectic morning commute happening on the main roads. It almost felt like a post-apocalyptic universe where I was the only remaining human on planet Earth. It was surreal, in a melancholically pleasant sort of way.
I found myself connecting with the lyrics of the song on an existentially significant level. I was alone. I wasn’t just alone, I was lonely. And yet I felt like the world was mine. I felt like I could do anything.
Humans are pack animals. We love having friends, partners, brothers, sisters, cousins; the more the merrier, right? I, myself, love people. I am a people person. I even identify as extroverted, yet that morning showed me that I should be able to enjoy and embrace my own company.
Introverted or extroverted or anything in between, I will not let labels separate us from what we all need. When I went out that morning I realized I not only enjoyed it but required it. My body felt rejuvenated. Identifying as an extrovert meant that I believed I didn’t need to be alone. Solitude is for introverts only, right?
Weirdly enough, loneliness made me feel empowered. It didn’t matter that I came back to a house full of people I partied with the night before that were all asleep in different parts of the floor. It didn’t matter that it was only for those 30 minutes. I still felt refreshed; alive.
A few years later, I go out by myself on the regular. And I don’t just mean on walks. I mean, I have days which I spend with myself as if I was spending them with a friend. I simply enjoy my own company. I act like I am with people I love. The other day I went to the beach and walked into the sea alone; splashed around. I found a group of people staring at me from a distance, clearly thinking that what I was doing was odd. I was alone after all, how come I wasn’t embarrassed?
What bothers me about people in today’s society is the de-normalization of solitude. Let people be on their own without judging them. Let people swing by themselves in the playpark. Let people go to the movies in their own company. Let people eat out alone. Let people be people. Life is too short to restrict oneself from things you enjoy and only limit yourself to doing those things with others. It is time we stop synching our calendars and finding free days together and start doing it regardless. Alone or with friends. I am an extrovert and I love being around people but spending time alone as if I wasn’t alone has not only helped me be happy, but it has helped me love myself. I mean, if you act like you would act when you are spending time with your friends, you eventually evolve into viewing yourself as a friend. You become your own friend. Loneliness, really is, fine.