It's Difficult, I Know

Life, to me, is how my dad explained it. It's like a horse race, but one of those ones where there are jumps every other hundred yards. My dark spin on my dad's analogy is, it IS like a horse race. You're riding through life smoothly for about 10 seconds, then you hit a rather heart-dropping hurdle. Now, if you don't fall of inevitability, you've succeeded. But every once in a while, the people riding fall off and the horse breaks its leg and the curtains go up. Generally, life is like that for everyone; we smooth sail whilst regularly jumping hurdles and overcoming those hurdles.

For some, the 0.2 seconds that the jump takes feels like hours. If you don't understand what I mean, I will explain it. A standard jump in your race-like life would be missing a deadline at work, university, or school. Most of the time this can be resolved, realistically. A jump that could feel like hours to some could be, for example, being in an abusive relationship, depression, anxiety, or anything you're struggling with. In actual fact, it all comes down to a cycle of behaviour.

When one is faced with a situation, whether it be good or bad, what we first encounter is our thoughts. Let’s say that a partner didn't remember an event that was important to me. The thoughts that would occur would be that maybe they didn't take notice, forgot, or didn't consider me. My feelings would be sadness, unappreciated, or anger. Then the physical sensations would kick in. My heart rate would increase, I would sweat, cry, lose my appetite, agoraphobia, or apathy. I would then behave in a certain way; for example, talk to my partner about it or catastrophically thinking, and have an argument.

There the cycle is, but when you know where you’re going wrong, then you can try and change it. For example, maybe I would change my thought processes or control my physical sensations or deal with my feelings to alter the outcome if it was undesired. These are your automatic thoughts, things you think of as soon as something happens. For example, you look in the mirror, what do you automatically think? Maybe it's negative. Maybe it’s positive. You can change this consciously or unconsciously in a good or bad way.

This is what I want to do in life; I want to help people alter and understand their cycle, and what may be going wrong or how to improve it.

But what if you don’t know where you’re going wrong? Ask yourself one question.:“What's stopping me from being where I want to be?” Whether that be being happy, body positive, successful at work, have more friends, anything. Find that automatic thought that either hinders you or just stops you.

Let me tell you something. You ARE good enough, you’re smart enough, capable enough, and important enough. Even if you don’t think you are, that’s okay, because you will. Life is about hurdles, remember? It's just a jump, then you land and then you’re fine. It will be okay. Think you haven’t achieved anything? That’s bullshit. Look back and be your own cheerleader. I know it's difficult and the hurdles can seem like they last forever or they’re just too high, but you are not alone—even the most successful, most beautiful, most capable of people stumble, and trust me, you ARE doing great. Take a step back and breathe.

Believe me when I tell you. There are things out there that are going to test you, but you will find something that will make you push forward just that little bit more and that’s what’s worth it.