Invest in Yourself

When I was growing up, I was always too much of something. Too smart, too happy. Too social, too shy. I never could get the perfect formula for making anyone happy. With my childhood, I oftentimes was the only black student in my class. I was also the smartest student in my class. I wasn't loud, I definitely am not "ratchet." I didn't fit the stereotypes of what they pegged I should be. This would result in me having very temporary friends and severe depressive mood swings that resulted in isolation. I came to the conclusion if I couldn't make anyone happy, then I shouldn't be around anyone. It wasn't until high school that I perceived different.

In my junior year, I met my best friend; just doing the quirky things I usually do. I saw her sitting in the parking lot, waiting for the school bus. Knowing we had time, I invited her to walk with me and another girl to the closest gas station for pre-school snacks. We shared a math class together, and there was something about the way she wore her personality that really drew me to her. I wanted to know her. She said yes, and from that day on, we've been a lot like glue. My best friend is something of a rebel, a free spirit if we must. She's lived a different life than many people I have known before in my past, and what makes her a top notch person was always remembering what she meant to herself. She didn't care if people accepted her, she accepted her. Though currently we live 450 miles apart, there's a few reasons why this relationship is divination in reality. I did give up on making any real friends growing up. If I couldn't convince them to like me, then I don't need friends. But I had the idea all wrong from the start. Those kids growing up didn't like me, but they did envy me. In high school, everyone wants to be validated by the next person, so of course when it comes to liking someone for who they are, that doesn't exist. Meeting my best friend, absorbing her on self love, it assisted me by getting me to where I am in life today.

I tell this story because when it comes to the realization of how much you love yourself, there is no real right or wrong way to go about it. There's no time frame or deadline. There's just a choice to begin, and beginning is the hard part. We are not obligated to prove our importance to anyone but ourselves. We are not validated by the opinions of others, but of the gratitude we give ourselves.