Introspect

Why can't I just learn the easy way? I always seem to gravitate towards the hard way of learning. Sometimes, I find myself in the same situation over and over, like a goldfish continuously hitting its head against the reflective tank wall... when will I learn? Will I ever learn, or am I doomed to a similar fate to our poor, clueless, little goldfish? You see, the difference between me and the goldfish is that I actually have a sharply functioning memory. I am typically, to some extent, aware of the consequences of my choices, and even more so for the choices I've made in the past that resulted in a negative outcome. Yet, I still choose to turn a blind eye to the negative outcome reaped from poor past choices, and put the pleasure gained from such choices up on a pedestal. I then develop tunnel vision, and run with full force straight into a very dangerous and/or painful situation. I tend to justify my poor choice with thoughts such as 'I will handle this situation in such a way where I will not get hurt this time' or 'Maybe something has changed and I will have a whole new experience.' I seem to be my own worst enemy in this aspect of self. It really all comes down to choice, and choosing to be consciously aware of the small, momentary and almost subconscious choices made. Choices like the fleet of tiny choices made in forming one's perception, how one views people, places, situations, and things. It seems to me that to take control of one's thoughts and perception would take awareness, commitment, determination, and patience. It seems to me that training oneself to do such a thing would be absolutely life transforming. I find the phrase, "It's all in your head" to be an accurate expressional phrase for something we all know to be life itself. Because everything you see, hear, feel, create, destroy, sense, find, win, lose, gain, trust, hate, fear, and basically experience, is all in your head. Perception is a beautiful and complex phenomenon, and one can never be too aware of the little flight of thoughts that form one's perception. Awareness is indeed half of a tumultuous journey to one's higher self. The other half is action. Self-examination, reading, writing, meditation, affirmations, soul seeking, searching, positive intention, and of course the determination to kick one's own ass into choosing to take the necessary action. It is far too easy to go on about such things for a few moments, but when the time comes to get down to business, Netflix and friends and drama OH MY! Distractions and money and bills oh no! To summarize, it's easier said than done. It's easy to be lazy. Even with a full-time job, and a million things going on, everyone has downtime. It is up to oneself to make time for self-improvement. Take ten minutes a day if that is all one has, and meditate. Set the intention for the day. One must ensure awareness of what one wants and values in life, and what must be done to get there. Meditation is important, as it is far too easy to get caught up in the fast flowing river of thoughts, or lost in the "Tulgey Woods" of the mind (watch the original cartoon version of Alice In Wonderland to understand this reference) and to just sit in complete mental silence can be so very beneficial for one's personal growth! To conclude, this self-help seeking piece of my mind: I know what I must do. I'm aware, and now I must take the necessary action to become the very best version of myself. I 100 percent know I am fully capable of doing this.

"Each journey begins with one step."

XoXo -NP