Inspired By: Lilibette ASMR

I have always considered myself a creative person, but with none of the proof. I don’t have much evidence to demonstrate my originality. A smattering of random blog posts across the internet and some acrylic paintings at home do not make an impressive body of work. Sure, I like my hobbies, but I have never been proficient enough at any of them to consider them a legitimate source of income.

I wouldn’t say my lack of marketable skills or general misuse of personal time are the only reasons I can’t do what I love, but they certainly round out the top three. Those reasons are easy to fix.

Can’t play an instrument? Practice

Can’t make a free throw? Practice

Can’t draw? Trace… or practice.

No time for all this practice? Cut back on all those naps.

Unfortunately, the biggest driver of my lack of production is a fear of failure. Since kindergarten, I have had an issue with this. If I manage to get past myself and actually make an effort, I can do wonderful things. I’ve done it before. I was basically flunking out of high school until I turned it around in my sophomore year. Therefore, I know it’s possible and I know how it feels to complete a hard-fought journey. There are not a lot of these experiences to back up my claim, but I promise. I have accomplished a goal or two in my life and felt like I was on top of the world. Of course, this warm feeling of worthiness only lasts until I feel the sting of recognition of all the other things I have not or will not ever be able to do. That’s when the parade of doubts begins its march through the impulse center of my brain and throws me into a dark valley of discouragement and self-deprecation.

To get out from under this self-imposed dreary feeling, I have been trying to find inspiration in the works of other prolific artists to remind myself that people are amazing and push through a lot to do what they are compelled to do. Perhaps a spark of inspiration will drift from the bonfire of their burning passion and ignite something in myself. That’s the hope anyway. Maybe by learning about them and seeing what they go through in their respective areas of work, I can find those similar things in myself and be like these people whose talents and work ethic I idolize. In reciprocity, I hope to repay them for their inspiration by making more people aware of these content generators and get them the exposure they deserve.

Which brings me to the subject of this article, because as you may have already deduced, I am an anxious person. I have attempted various types of relaxation techniques: Meditation, natural supplements, pharmaceuticals, and even breathing exercises. All means of relaxation that led to middling results. But one thing I discovered a few years ago that has been an incredible help to me: Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (or ASMR for short).

ASMR, often compared with auditory-tactile synesthesia where certain sounds can induce sensations in parts of the body, can be characterized by a tingling sensation in the scalp, back, and upper neck brought on by specific “triggers.” These triggers can be auditory like soft speaking, unintelligible whispering, or even just the sound of hair brushing and visuals like slow hand movements, face touching, or just delicate actions like folding a napkin or drawing.

To get my ASMR fix, I go to YouTube where a growing community of creators have built up followings and financial support for themselves based on this phenomenon over the past decade (give or take a couple years). One of my current favorite artists is Lilibette ASMR.

Her channel on YouTube has just over 1,500 subscribers and her videos have amassed over 70K views since the summer of 2017. Her most popular video “The Grim Reaper Visits You” has almost 10K views alone. But what made me reach out to her was that when I stumbled on her channel, I could see the quality and creativity was evident, but inexplicably, she had not yet been able to build up the number of subscribers that other channels had built by peddling similar (but less quality) product with hacky tricks designed to entice people to click on their videos—like showing lots of cleavage in the thumbnail or aggressively sexual overtones (moaning/seductive banana eating… yick).

I wanted to talk to her about herself, her background, and her ability to consistently produce unique content in a sometimes frighteningly large community. Does she feel the same fears as I do? How does she fight through the fear and put herself out into the highly critical world of the internet?

Lilibette ASMR is a moniker that is a combination of her real name (“Elizabeth”), favorite letter (“L”), and a connection to the current Queen Elizabeth of England (they both struggled with speech early in life). The Queen was unable to say her own name correctly and Lilibette had her own struggles as a child, having to take Speech Therapy for five years. She runs her channel from essentially a bedroom somewhere in Maryland (until bigger and better things come along). When she isn’t producing videos for her loyal subscribers, she also dabbles in pottery and can be seen making some beautiful mugs in the occasional live stream.

Her videos' concepts can range from the simple—like personal attention or gentle unboxing videos—to the more deeply involved with plots involving being kidnapped by multiple personalities or encountering literary characters inspired by classic tales like Phantom of the Opera or Misery. Each one involving multiple triggers both visual and aural, including her own personal favorite triggers (softly sensual speech, hair brushing, and metallic clinking sounds).

With such a wide array of videos and triggers to choose from, it is hard to say which of her videos is my favorite. But I know that Lilibette’s favorite is her imagining of the Grim Reaper. With all the time that went into costume, makeup, background audio, and special effects, it’s easy to see that this video was a labor of love, with emphasis on the labor. Her spin on the phantasm brings a welcome depth to the character, as well as an unexpected tenderness and comfort when dealing with such intense ideas as death and dying.

Some of the excuses I have made for not achieving my goals are: I don’t have the time, I don’t have the right space, I don’t have the right look, I am too afraid of the exposure. All these things stand in my way when I consider creating something, whether it be a painting or a song or a podcast. But then, I meet someone like Lilibette who sees these obstacles and works around them. She was once like me, full of scruples. After years of being an ASMR spectator, she struggled to see a spot for herself in the vastly competitive and saturated community. Luckily, Lilibette was inspired by another ASMRtist who, despite not having the “typical” look or being a little older than the average YouTuber, had managed to attract over 10K subscribers to her channel, using her talented voice to soothe countless viewers.

Once she saw that success was possible and that you don’t need all the gimmicks and rigmarole, she dedicated herself to becoming a flourishing ASMRtist. She knew that despite the messages from trolls and other “YouTubers” discouraging her that she had to get in front of that camera and film. For that, I am extremely grateful. Her persistence has afforded me and numerous others the ability to calm down the constant static of anxiety for a moment of time. Her bravery and perseverance in personal difficult circumstances have helped people like myself continue their days that would have otherwise been halted by fretfulness and hyper-vigilance.

But most importantly, Lilibette taught me that one of the secrets of being a successful creator is never giving up. “If you feel jealous or competitive, turn that energy into trying to improve yourself… and focus on genuine growth.” Don’t let those worries freeze you in your tracks. Use them to your advantage and become better at whatever your passion is and “...keep putting yourself out there and enjoy the ride.”

If you would like to support Lilibette ASMR on her endeavors, please subscribe to her channel on YouTube. She uploads on Mondays or Tuesdays, and occasionally live streams to connect with her subscribers. You can find her on just about every social media platform just by searching for Lilibette ASMR.