I Don’t Know About You, But I’m Not Quite Sure What to Do

It’s been 2 months since I turned the age Taylor Swift felt so inclined to document about in song form. The song may depict that when someone turns this age, they take a carefree approach to life, with many decisions being driven by debauchery and promiscuity.

And having recently graduated, a carefree approach was enough to see me through my undergrad years. I could study until my goal of a degree was reached. Jump from project to project to keep my CV as varied & dynamic as possible. Take paid work wherever I could. And, of course, party and party until my heart was content, without facing too many repercussions.

However, as I have followed a typical path of going to uni straight after secondary school, and attempting to make the most of it for 3 years, I am left wondering what is the right move to make now that I’m 22 with a BA in Drama & Film Studies (Yeah, I know right? Good luck, me…)

Applying for jobs wherever I can, making time for extracurricular activities, and hitting up the clubs are still happenings I am currently pursuing; but this time, I’m doing it from the comfort of living rent-free in my mother’s home compared to the limited heating provided my student housing I had gotten quite used to.

As I’m not quite ready to pick a career path and having made the decision to move in with a parent again, it can be easy for myself and others in a similar situation to fall into a trap of consistently comparing ourselves to other people within our age bracket.

Being 22 is kinda awkward.

Do I continue to find delight in, as R'n'B star Khalid puts it, being “Young, Dumb and Broke,” or should I seriously consider having a stab at the “adulting” thing?

Friends and acquaintances aged 18-25 are either searching for their own vocation in life or have already discovered at an early age what they were always destined to do and have already relished in their pursuits. By being the former, the natural feelings of envy do tend to surface for those within the latter category (especially when this latter applies to those younger than myself).

You may think I’m just bitter about not getting off my lazy ass sooner and find my vocation by now, but it’s human nature to self-deprecate when we learn that someone we know accomplish their dream job, announce an engagement, and/or bring an offspring into the world.

The social media we all gawk at every day is very influential in igniting the flame of mild resentment towards someone we knew growing up make their mandatory post of their engagement ring; A sight that is a constant reminder that this truly is the future!

Comparing ourselves to others becomes easier when we get an instant insight into the optimistic lives which are projected on Facebook.

As I continue to search for where my Bachelor of Arts Degree will get me, there are four things I can do in response to the successes of my peers:

1. Acknowledge that the accomplishments I see are well earned and these people deserve every bit of success they get.
2. Admit that some of these accomplishments are not what I see for my own life, and therefore any comparison of my own achievements are irrelevant.
3. Focus any feelings of jealousy as a way of driving my own desires to find and pursue a route suited to what will make me happy in success.
4. Set personal goals to keep myself productive as I make my way slowly but surely down my route.

This torn relationship I have with being carefree and having to “adult” is what makes me wonder if I’m doing this whole 22 thing the right way.

But the reality is there’s no manual or instruction booklet on how to be any age.

And what one person considers a great milestone moment in their life isn’t necessarily what someone else considers a milestone for their own life.

Whether you’re 7, 22, 36, 53, 92, etc; there isn’t a right way to have attained certain goals or lifestyles once you’ve reached certain age.

Everyone is different. We have individual paces. And that’s completely alright.

Some will be drawn to a certain path and could earn a £20,000+ salary by the time they’re 21; that’s good for them.

Others require a little bit more time to determine which path is right for them and end up enrolling for university to pursue their dream career when they are 32; that’s good for them.

If we let the pressure of having to have done a lot stuff by a certain age pile up, this pressure will inevitably crush us.

Although, drawing comparisons between yourself and other people can be unavoidable.

At least half of the artists in the charts are somewhat younger than myself, and it makes me think—where are my three top 10 albums I should have put by now?

However, this envy can be focused as a driving force that inspires you to attain successes you always aspired to. Just as long as you don’t let any feelings of contempt for other people’s successes consume you!

So if you’re feeling 22 like me and feel “happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time” or if you miraculously know who you are by this age, you are doing 22 the right way.

Because there is no right way to be 22.

Just our own individual ways.