Earlier today, on my Facebook feed, there was a meme that was asking it's readers, "What was the dumbest thing you believed in as a kid?" People were posting silly things, like Santa Claus, that sharks were in the deep end of the pool, monsters in the closet... I didn't post a response to that post. I didn't want to bring down the levity of the post, but I was going to say that I believed that my dreams could come true.
That thought made me realize just how low I've been feeling recently. I've been feeling so incredibly insecure, about myself and what my future may look like, that I have stopped believing that my dreams can come true. There was always magic in my dreams. I would dream about foreign destinations, unconventional jobs, and happiness.
As a kid, I remember being told to follow my heart and chase my dreams. I looked forward to my dreams coming to fruition, and then "Real Life" kicked in.
To give you an idea, my dream is to perform. I want to dance, sing, work for Cirque du Soleil as an aerial artist. My dream is incredibly lofty and full of long hours of training, rehearsal, auditions, and I want more than anything, in the world, to do those things.
Let's hop back into what "Real Life" has thrown my way as a means of deterring chasing these dreams. Training costs money, which means a job to support that. Classes are not cheap. Auditions require time away from the job, and happen often, which takes away from the support I receive from work. Okay, let's say I land a role... Yes, I will get paid... but now I have to leave that job that was giving me the stability to pursue training. During my time in the production, I will have to use my days off to continue auditioning for that next role... if I don't land a role before the close of the production I am jobless... NO THANK YOU!! All that instability gives me major anxiety, so it's just best to ignore my dreams.
While meditating on that morbid thought, believing in my dreams, I realize that I let my fear of the unknown hold me back. We were told to CHASE our dreams when we were younger, not wait for them to get handed to us. Chasing requires work and dedication, sacrifices, and uncertainty. My dreams are so lofty that it will take so much more work to have those dreams realized. I need to stop wallowing in self pity that I'm not doing what dreamed, because I am putting NO effort into making my dreams come true.
I am talented, I am skilled, I am more than capable of being successful in the performing world. It is my duty to take that first step. I have to find myself some classes to attend; it won't be full time to start, but I can at least start getting my body into shape. Success does not happen overnight.
If there is one thing that I would hope you take from this, is that you are not limited by your environment. I have been letting fear of instability and failure hold me back from enjoying the gifts I have been given and following my passion. My passion is bigger than me, and it's scary.
Don't be afraid of the work, don't be afraid of the unknown. Take your dreams one step at a time. Get your head in the game and play. Make your dreams your reality.