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How to Love Yourself Again

Self Love and Self Care

By Tonya NarzinskyPublished 5 years ago 5 min read
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At some point in life we all experience a sense of confusion as to who we are or what our life even means. It is easy to get lost in our careers, studies, family life, etc. It is important to still find time for yourself. Schools should really stress the importance of self-care. As we get older sometimes our priorities get out of order. It is important to evaluate your life every so often, so that you can make sure you are happy and peaceful. Everything (growth-wise) stems from our inner happiness/mental state. So if we are not taking care of ourselves, most likely our work and everything else will be messy too.

Think back to the hobbies/sports/activities you enjoyed as a kid. Now ask yourself why did you stop them? If you continued with them, that is a good sign. Yes, our paths and interests can change... but I, myself have found my way back to all the old things I used to love doing. I believe anyone can do it. It has to come though, when you are open and ready to experience it again. It took me some time to figure out what I wanted in life as an adult. Our experiences in life can push us away from things we loved about ourselves in our younger years.

The number one thing we ALL need to practice, is positive self-talk. This means that we need to stop talking to ourselves negatively. Make a habit of waking up and thinking of a couple positive thoughts about your recent accomplishments. Think about how the day has so many possibilities and that you are just happy to be here today alive and (hopefully) well. Our thoughts can change our perceptions of reality. When we think negatively our body responds negatively. I call this the “self pep-talk.” Some days I even try it in the mirror, and believe it or not, I felt good afterwards. Learning how to catch yourself thinking negatively and being able to flip the switch is beneficial in life.

Another important thing is to take care of yourself! As in, stop relying on substances to ease your mind. Partying is a bad idea. You end up feeling embarrassed by how you acted. But then you keep the cycle going, break the cycle. Of course, going out here and there is fine, just don’t live at the bar/club. The best way for self-care is to pick a hobby or two a week and make a routine.

I enjoy dancing, yoga, and the gym. Also, stop playing your depressing music! What we listen to, watch, engage in, all affects us drastically. I put on upbeat music when I’m driving or when I’m at home. I also enjoy playing classical in the morning. Rock and rap also get me in a good mood and help me ground myself. Find what works for you! Surround yourself with positive and like-minded people. We grow when we are inspired. Don't hang around people that will pull you down with them. Make sure you are never around people who put you down verbally. This will only make your self image shatter eventually. But... you can ALWAYS build it right back up to an even better image of yourself! It is truly up to you. Live a positive lifestyle.

Treat yourself when you can. Go get your hair/nails done, massage, go to the mall, or do whatever you have been wanting to do. It is important to take care of ourselves and reward ourselves when we can. We work too hard to be here, so treat yourself here and there.

I think the majority of us would agree that we all give more to others than to ourselves sometimes. This sometimes results in less self-love or attention.

Pick a favorite spot and call it your “peaceful place.” Meditation is a great way to help you clear your mind and relieve stress. Try picking up a book that you have half-read, and finish it. Go for a run or drive and try out new restaurants or stores. Make sure you are still exploring in life and always working on yourself and how you view yourself. I fully believe that a routine of eating healthier and exercising weekly will already put you on a great path.

I’m loving myself more and more every day. I feel the gym is a place where I can have control and no one can take it away from me. For a long time, I forgot who I even was as an individual. I was too lost in life and disengaged in all of my old hobbies. I put others before me and now I see how I payed for it later on. But we learn from our mistakes. Now, I really do feel like I have a hold on my life and my thoughts. This is when I truly realized I still loved all my old hobbies I just had to be ready mentally to enjoy them again.

Happiness and optimism is a choice. Once we choose to be happy, the universe works its ways back to us.

Routine is key! For everything in life. So when you practice self-love, it becomes self-love!!!

Try these helpful tips.

  1. Pop on some happy music and start journaling, painting, blogging, drawing, etc.
  2. Take a nice bath
  3. Try listening to classical morning music while you sip your coffee
  4. Treat yourself to lunch
  5. Get a massage/mani/pedi
  6. Take a walk/sit in nature (the beach, anywhere green, or with a view)
  7. Watch your favorite show on Netflix while eating your favorite meal
  8. Sign up to a gym or join a yoga class
  9. Try daily meditations on YouTube or Gaia app.
  10. Tell yourself each day what you are grateful for and what you did that day that was productive towards your well-being
  11. Daily to-do lists help with organization
  12. Spend time with people who support you
  13. Try new activities and aspire to educate yourself even further than imagined
  14. Play with your pets for a few minutes (it makes their day and also yours)
  15. Set small daily goals, crush them, then be proud you stuck to your word! it is important to remind ourselves of our progress and hard work.

You are a warrior! Don't forget it!

Thank yourself and forgive yourself. <3

It is time to care about your progress and growth again. It’s all there waiting for you, you just have to want it enough to do the work. Much love on your evolution. Create the life you’ve always wanted, by practicing self-love.

self help
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About the Creator

Tonya Narzinsky

-Bachelors Degree in Psychology from University of South Florida

-Working towards Master's Degree in Psychology

-Dance Instructor, Life Pursuer

-Health, Wellness, & Lifestyle posts

-Working from Wifi

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