How to Defeat Negative Talk

You've been doing so great of being optimistic and thinking positive, you were sure that nothing nor anyone could stop the flow of your good energy. You're feeling good, looking good, life is amazing, and everything seems to be almost perfect.

Then BAM!

Out of nowhere doubt starts creeping in on you. You begin to start thinking about the past, all that has happened and certain things that were said to you. It's like someone or something told you to press the rewind button. You start to notice negative thoughts consuming your mind. Then a few weeks later it seems like your life is falling apart. Nothing is going right or as planned. Bills start to pile up. Money seems scarce. Family turned their back on you. Job lays you off. Friends are nowhere to be around. And you think to yourself, "What happened? Everything was just about perfect. Life was great." Now you feel alone. What do you do now?

If in time you feel like this, understand that you are not alone. There are many people who have felt this way and went through a similar situation (or possibly even worse) just like you. I say this because I was once in this same predicament.

We all have our own life story to tell the world, and that is what makes us unique. Although, our stories and circumstance may be different, we can all still relate to each other's trials.

Have you ever been told that you weren't good enough, or that you will never amount to anything? Has someone ever expressed negative thoughts about you? Have you ever been disowned by your family or family members? Have people neglected your feelings when you tried to reach out for help? The list of questions goes on...

It hurts, I know. We cannot help what others say to us or about us. We sit and wonder why they say these awful words, or do hurtful things to us when we did nothing at all.

For example, my life... Growing up I had a wonderful life, but a very simple one. I was super shy, but still radiant and liked by many. It wasn't until my early twenties to my mid-twenties when life started to take a turn. Within a span of three to four years, I was disowned by a family member, I had four different jobs, and my last one fired me, I've been called horrible names from close people in my life, and even from strangers I've never met once, my car was totaled, my bills began to pile up, and I didn't know how I was going to feed my son or keep a roof over our heads. I went from having everything to nothing.

How do we move on from our past? How do we move on from what and who has hurt us? While it’s nearly impossible to get rid of negative thoughts, people, and situations altogether (we will always have good and bad days), we can choose to strip away those parts in our life that bring us down, and instead refocus that energy towards being the best versions of ourselves. So, how exactly do we get rid of unnecessary negativity, and protect ourselves from these harmful effects? Here are a few steps to help defeat that negative talk:

1) Practice Gratitude

Develop a grateful mindset and heart. Focus on all things that you are grateful for. Such as your eyes for sight, ears to hear, legs to walk etc. There are a lot of people who don't have functioning eyes, ears, legs etc. No matter what circumstance we are going through, there are even more and better reasons to be grateful. It's impossible to be grateful and unhappy/sad/upset at the same time. If you ever find yourself thinking about anything negative, or those negative thoughts start to creep in, make a list of all things that you should and are grateful for, this helps you refocus your energy and thoughts on positive things.

2) Surround Yourself With...

Surround yourself with people who are going to encourage you, inspire you, and lift you up. Say your farewells and goodbyes to those toxic people. You do not need them in your life, nor do you need to be around them (it doesn't matter who they are... Family/Friends). They already brought you down, why keep them around any longer? So they can hurt you again? I don't think so! Life is too short to be around toxic and negative people. Surround yourself with positive like-minded people who are just like you. Find a mentor, attend a class you're interested in, or volunteer at a place you like to be at. There are really good people out here.

3) Read

Find yourself a book or magazine. Read something that you enjoy and love. They could be self-help books, inspirational, DIY, or even something that is fiction, comedy, or mysterious. Reading, whether it is a hardback book, or an audio book, can take you places that you never expected to go. It gives you insight, and can increase your creativity too.

4) Refocus

When those negative comments, or criticisms, and exceptions from others come sweeping in your thoughts, NOTICE IT! Be aware of your inner critic and those negative thoughts. Make the effort to pay attention to your thoughts, and how you are feeling. Once you acknowledge it, separate it from who you are. All those negative thoughts and criticism and expectations from others are not who you are. Take the time to refocus and remind yourself who you really are. A great way to do that is to say positive affirmations (If you don't know what positive affirmations are you can check out my other story on Vocal about affirmations).

5) Focus on NOW

So, negativity seems to happen when we focus on our past and the things that were said and done to us, or even worrying about the future. Focus on the present moment. What is the present moment? You're alive, your body is functioning, you have a roof over your head, you have good family and friends etc. This also ties in with being grateful. You will start to feel peace, and enjoy the moment you are in. Move past all the negativity and focus on the positive things that are right in front of you that you can enjoy now.

6) Do Something that Makes You Happy

Do you have a hobby that you enjoy? Mine are photography, videography, writing, and reading, and a few more. There are a variety of hobbies that you can choose from. Find something that you enjoy, that brings you a sense of peace and/or relaxation when you do it. It could be martial arts, walking your dogs, painting, cooking, music, and the list goes on. By doing activities that you love, you break that negative mood, and start feeling happier—and even more energized.

7) Step Outside

Nature is such a beautiful thing, wouldn't you agree? If you're feeling down or upset take a step outside and get some fresh air. Take a walk through the park or your neighborhood. Notice the beauty of nature and the smell of the fresh air. Experts say that connecting with nature can make us feel happier in our lives, and such action helps eliminate negative energy and a bad mood.

8) Hit the Gym

Get sweaty, work out, do some bench presses, or run on the treadmill. Just get up and DO SOMETHING ACTIVE. If you don't have a gym membership improvise, go running through your neighborhood, YouTube cardio workouts, do anything that will get you active and moving. Research says that when we exercise regularly it makes us feel happier, more productive, energized, and even creative. It also builds up our self-esteem and confidence (it's true!) When we exercise, our body releases chemicals called endorphins. Endorphins interact with the receptors in our brains that reduce our perception of pain. It is also a trigger to a positive feeling in our body. Exercising helps us push away toxic elements and things that drain us.

Negativity is going to come into your life from time to time. It could be from your past, people that you are around, or maybe it's even your own inner critic. However you encounter negativity, you choose how to deal with it. You could ignite the fire and involve yourself with more negativity, or you could choose to do something about it. Don't let negativity control your experience or your mind. Get up and go for a walk, read a book, do something that makes you happy (smile!), and surround yourself with good people who will lift you up, and encourage you when you feel down.

If any time you feel alone and have no one to talk to, please send me an email ([email protected]) my email is open.

I hope you all have an amazing day. YOU'RE AWESOME!!!!