How to Deal with Loneliness

It may feel bad, but believe me: You can be your own best friend.

You can be as lonely as anyone. But that doesn't mean you have to be miserable.

Let's be honest, humanity is a social species. We all thrive off each other, comedians tell us jokes, leaders protect us, and friends take care of us. Yet at times, maybe we feel like we don't have friends or maybe our friends are just not around. Maybe we can't find a date or something and that's okay. It's okay to be lonely. And I'm going to tell you how exactly you can be your own best friend.

First, learn how to be happy by yourself.

It's important to understand what makes you happy, whether it's reading books about squids or listening to people walk past your house at night. If it's normal or weird, if it makes you happy, you need to know what makes you happy. These are called hobbies and they're important for when you are lonely because you can do it whenever you need it. For example, I write articles like these, I play video games, or I read books. These hobbies have made me less lonely as articles keep me busy, video games entertain me, and I can lose myself in books. So for you, the reader, it's important to find something that essentially distracts you from feeling lonely. My suggestion? Pick up an instrument.

Second, know that you have worth, even when alone.

It's important to also know that just because you may be alone for months or seconds, you have worth as a person. It's important to note that because you may not be dating someone or going out on one, or going to parties, etc, it's important to note that if you're not doing any of this stuff, you're still a person. The lack of social participation whether willing or unwilling does not define you as a loser. It's important to remember this. If you can make the effort to go to a job you hate, to wake up, or to even read this. Then, quite simply, you matter.

Third, and most importantly, it's okay to cry, and it's okay to want help.

Loneliness may make you miserable. The lack of social activities may make you wonder if you did something wrong. The fact that the only conversations you may hold lately are with yourself may make you feel so pathetic that you want to cry is okay. It's okay to feel that way and it's okay to not want help or to want help. It's okay to cry and scream that you have worth. That it's not your fault that you're alone. It is important to know this because it matters if you're willing to admit that you're alone and that you can be happy by yourself. As mentioned above, it's necessary to know what makes you happy, and it's necessary to definitely know that you have worth. 

Add On: How To Make Friends

As an autistic man (Asperger's) it was hard when I was younger to have friends. I had to look towards the rejects and freaks to have friends. As I've grown over the years, I've made this essential mask to befriend practically anyone who is worthy of my friendship. What I'm trying to get at is that making friends is only as hard as you make it. I mentioned before that you need a hobby to make yourself distracted from the fact that you are lonely. It is this hobby that will make you friends. For example, I have online friends from video games. If you like, let's say, movies, you can make friends online in a forum or in real life. The other important part is to be able to make anyone laugh, or smile. A perfect opener to every conversation from strangers would be jokes and compliments. In my own experience, if you compliment someone, or if you tell them a funny joke, you can make them laugh or smile. This gets them interested and then you go from there. If you find conversations to be hard, practice. What I mean by that is to go online and to talk to people in forums as mentioned before. If you can hold a normal conversation there, you can definitely hold a conversation in real life.

Read next: Self-Love
Jacob Harold
Jacob Harold

I'm a gamer and a poet who's got anger issues, sadness, and anxiety. To put it simply, I'm a volatile cocktail of a person. But stick around, I swear you'll think I'm an okay guy. profile pic downloaded from sound-dream on Tumblr.

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How to Deal with Loneliness
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