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How to Cope with Loss?

The Inevitable Adrift Given at Departure

Leaving. The little voice that has been inside your brain since you've known yourself. Some taking it seriously, some pushing it down; for fear or for reasons beyond themselves (and me). Obviously, everyone wants to spend spring break in Bora Bora, a week in Belize. But you notice this voice becoming louder and louder when, one day during work, you consider starting a new life in a small city in Colorado. However, when it starts approaching unbearable, the fear overcomes. Then, how to let go?

Your comfort zone is bigger than you would imagine. It lays, of course, in your home, your friends, your job or school... but it deceives constantly by the small losses. When you lose your job, you still have a home, even if temporary. When you get evicted, you still have something to do in the morning. You still have an idea, even if faded, of what you will be doing next year. Who you will be spending next Christmas with. And it does not stop there. Your comfort zone lays on the Wi-Fi lease that you are in. It lays on knowing how to communicate. Knowing transit laws, where the closest supermarket is, the closest hospital. It lays on the most subtle things and that is why you owe to yourself losing a little bit every day. 

The importance of losses lay in the opportunity to prove your own strength. To show to yourself that your world does not end when your job does. Losing a little bit in the smallest things is proving to yourself that you are capable of change. So, try to take a different way to work. Open the doors with the opposite hand. Eat chicken hearts. Listen to rap in the morning. Switch your daily coffee to a green tea. Incorporate change in your daily life, and get used to losing. Let go of your comfort zone not only to make leaving easier but to show yourself that you are more than that. That you are more than what the world, and past choices, made out of your everyday life. 

The fear of leaving is directly analogous to the fear of living with yourself. The fear of going to a place where not only you depend on your ability to recreate a life, but on your ability to stay alone. But loneliness is the bridge to comprehending your significance. And when you are able to apprehend that, leaving becomes more tangible. Because you realize that this place will be losing you too. And for someone to lose you is as difficult as it is for you to lose them. 

The peace of starting a new life lays on the recognition of your own virtues. Recognizing that you can be the best at making Thanksgiving deserts. And hosting a party. Or that you always choose the good movies, and give the best advice. You are a good shoulder to cry on or the best at solving crises. If you understand and if you gather all your courage and leave, you are not the only one losing. Your landlord will be losing a great occupant, your job will be losing a dedicated employee. Your friends will be losing everything that you are. And your destiny will gain all the beauty of your being and all the benefits of your presence. And that is not small. 

So leave. Make yourself ready by understanding your comfort zone, by feeling safe during changes, but, most importantly, by understanding who you are and the million things you have to offer. It will be a struggle, but you are lucky to have yourself during it all.

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