Having Trouble with Forgiveness? Self-Love? Acceptance?

We all harbor some kind of hurt in our conscious and subconscious mind. Whether it's from the past or present, it can block the energy flow of your chakras. When there is a deficit or excessive flow of energy it can manifest a disease or one can become very possessive, for example.

What Are Chakras?

In Sanskrit, the work Chakra translates to 'wheel' or 'disk.' Chakras are a vital life force in the body, they align vertically from the base of the spine to the top of the head. It is a central force within the body that serves as a connection point between metaphysical and biophysical energies.

These wheels of energy correlate to different areas of the body, different desires, and spiritual growth. There are seven main chakras. Working with the chakra energies in a positive way is linked to increased lifespan; mental, emotional, physical health, and overall personal well-being. In Hinduism, this practice has been studied for thousands of years.

Fourth Chakra; Anahata (Heart Chakra)

The Anahata represents love, warmth, compassion, equilibrium, joy, and well-being. It is located in the center of our chest at the heart level. It is the center of your deep bonds with other beings, not necessarily people but also animals, like your pet. It is responsible for your sense of caring, self-love, compassion, generosity, kindness, respect and altruism.

This energy field allows us to recognize we are part of something bigger than ourselves and we feel at peace with ourselves and life itself when we are balanced.

The fourth chakra is related to the Thymus. This organ is part of the endocrine system and the immune system. The thymus produces T cells responsible for fighting off disease and is affected by stress. So when we feel stress whether it be from work or relationships, depression starts to develop. And what happens when we are depressed? We block the flow of energy in our fourth chakra, and we become sick. We harbor emotions and "suck it up" and we bury it in our subconscious. This can become a health issue.

A little about me...

Growing up I didn't receive much love from my mother and father. My father left when I was 9 years old. My mother was hurt, and she had her issues she was dealing with. Unfortunately, she projected her emotions onto her daughters. She never stood up for us when her siblings would mock my sisters and me, let alone she never stood up for herself.

I was always seen as the oddball and when I hit 13 years old I came out to my family as bisexual. I was laughed at and I wasn't accepted for many years, until the age of 21. I developed deep hurt from my family yet I still loved them because I wanted to be loved in return so bad. There was a void I was trying to fill by pleasing others. I grew up wishing I had better parents- loving parents. I started to rebel in middle school and was ditching classes because I was also being bullied. A combination of all these things led me to develop chronic depression. I was sexually abused by a couple family members and a family friend.

Later in life, I went to a homeopathic doctor and explained everything I felt in my body. Why was I always hurting? Why did I have so many issues at such a young age? Well, I stopped the flow of energy in my heart chakra. I became possessive, jealous, clingy, and cried for everything. My body was always hurting and I was starting to forget things, I had mood swings all the time and I was very clumsy. I harbored deep hurt and developed self-rejection. I did not feel worthy enough or wanted. I became suicidal. When my doctor muscle tested me for these symptoms he revealed I manifested two major diseases in my body. Multiple sclerosis (MS) and Fibrosarcoma (cancer of the fibrous connective tissue). I didn't know how to react, it didn't seem real. Who wants to hear they have cancer? Or a degenerative disease? We take our health for granted and we cause harm to our body by feeding it self-hate and poor self-care.

I went to a bookstore and bought a book from Louise Hay called "Heal Your Body; The Mental Causes for Physical Illness and the Metaphysical Way to Overcome Them." I learned of Louise Hay in Massage Therapy school when we learned about Chinese medicine and energy work. In this book, you can find different illnesses and the bad thoughts/feelings that caused the illness in the first place.

Cancer is manifested from harboring deep hurt. Longstanding resentment. Deep secret or grief eating away at the self. Carrying hatreds. "What's the use?"

There is a mantra to this illness.

"I lovingly forgive and release all of the past. I choose to fill my world with joy. I love and approve of myself."

MS is manifested from mental hardness, hard-heartedness, iron will, inflexibility. Fear.

Mantra for this illness:

"By choosing loving, joyous thoughts, I create a loving, joyous world. I am safe and free."

I decided that I was not my diagnosis. I chose more self- love after discovering my illnesses. I worked hard in forgiving my mother for never being there for me emotionally and forgave my father for walking out on his first daughters before he had more children with other women. He took over the father role with them, and that's what hurt me the most. I am no one to judge my parents and their mistakes. Even good people make the wrong choice. I accepted the situation and relied only on myself to heal. Only you can heal yourself, no one else can. It starts with you. The willingness to take that next step to your healing journey. You can show the horse where the water is but you can't make him drink it, is a popular saying I keep in mind.

Lately, I have been doing more of what I love, more of what nurtures my soul. Reading, art, nature photography, singing, dancing, and laughing. I surround myself with people that bring the positive energy I lack in my energy field and I feed off of it. I wake up in the morning and I name 3 things I am grateful for, something as simple as having a warm bed to sleep in when others don't have a home to shelter them, or enough blankets to keep them warm. I realize that even though I have all this mess going on, there is more to life than living in your struggle and constantly stressing about the things we have no control of. Sometimes you have to trust in the universe and know you'll be taken care of. Use the law of attraction, make a vision board and manifest all the good things you want to bring into your life. Do the work, find yourself and most importantly, be gentle with yourself.

Life is about connection and caring, and without it, you feel bereft and alone. A balanced heart chakra lets you know that you are never alone. You can extend caring to others and yourself and allow your heart to be open and full.

Meditation and Mantras

Meditation is like a prayer. We put our intentions as to what we are trying to heal in our life. We pray for wealth, love, abundance and we pray for others. Meditation focuses on a prayer for oneself. For our spiritual being. We tap into an energy field, a different realm and we bring awareness to our conscious mind. Our thoughts and feelings send out a frequency into the universe and the universe responds to your thought pattern. This is why we must practice positive thinking. Something as simple as, I love, I forgive, I am kind, I accept myself. These are also mantras you can practice when you feel self-doubt, alone or unworthy.

I recently attended a meditation class a friend invited me to for the heart chakra (which inspired me to write this article) and learned valuable information on how to cope with my current situation. I've recently cut ties with a friend I loved very much. The ending of our friendship wasn't on the best of terms. And if I could do things differently, I would. But the healing of the heart chakra does not focus on what we could have done different, it focuses on acceptance and detachment. Accepting things as they are and letting go. I have accepted where I am in my life and it's up to me whether it gets better or not. I lost sight of my medicine of meditation and attending that class has brought me back to it.

Here are some helpful affirmations and mantras you can practice that I learned in meditation class.

Affirmations

I am

• A successful person.
• Loved.
• Forgiving of myself and others.
• Accepting of myself.
• Open to love.

Mantras

• I accept others.
• I am compassionate.
• I accept myself.
• I am cherished.
• I love.
• I am kind.
• I am loved.
• I am needed.
• I forgive.

Heart Chakra Healing: Green Foods (Color of Anahata)

• Kiwi
• Leafy Greens
• Bell Peppers
• Pears
• Limes
• Asparagus
• Celery
• Broccoli
• Cucumbers
• Green Beans
• Peas
• Green Apples
• Green Grapes

Crystals

• Emerald
• Jade
• Rose Quartz
• Green Tourmaline

Practice meditation and affirmations and I guarantee you will start feeling better within your spiritual self, just as I am. Step out of your comfort zone and attend a meditation class.

Let's vibrate higher.

References

Websites:

Yahoo Answers

Chopra

Chakra Anatomy

Books:

"You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay

"A Little Bit of Chakras, an Introduction to Energy Healing" by Amy Leigh and Chad Mercree