Motivation logo

Happiness

Expectations vs. Reality

By Caroline BolibaughPublished 5 years ago 4 min read
Like
Photo by MARK ADRIANE on Unsplash

New Year's Eve 2018, and I'm scrambling to figure out a resolution. A friend says to me "In 2019, I'm focusing on me, and being happier", and I thought "well, okay, here we go... I'm going to be happier in 2019."

A few days later, I get up nice and early and make my bed—something I saw in a video, "How to be Happier," from someone with a ton of subscribers so, she knows what works. After that I did a little yoga— something I read in a blog about "creating joy," I like yoga so I was sold. Later, I made myself a smoothie while I listened to a podcast to get motivated for the rest of my day—a few more things I picked up from another YouTuber.

Photo by Francesca Hotchin on Unsplash

Once I got to work I made myself a to-do list with all of the tasks I hoped to complete throughout the day, calls I needed to make, things I needed to plan, etc. so to feel more accomplished at the end of the day. I made sure to get up every hour or so to walk around and stretch, packed a healthy lunch, and continued crossing things off of my list.

At the end of the day, I gathered my things and headed home. Once home, I received a few emails from co-workers, but didn't read them because they could wait until I was back in the office the next day—another little something I picked up from a blog I had read, or video I watched. I made a healthy dinner and ate it with my boyfriend as we shared about our days (and I was careful not to vent about anything that upset me throughout my day—positive vibes only). When it was time to start winding down, I washed my face, threw on a mask, made a cup of tea, and picked up my current read. An hour or so later I headed to bed, nice and early.

Photo by Plush Design Studio on Unsplash

The next day, I woke up and did it all over again, and the next day, and so on, changing some things up here and there. Now, I'm a little less than a month in and I don't feel any happier than I did before. Sure, I'm eating better, keeping productive at work, and making sure that work stays at work, but nothing I've learned from blogs, or videos, or books have helped me become a happier me.

The reality of it is, we can't learn how to help ourselves become happier by watching or reading or listening other people. Everyone is on their own journey and what works for one or even most, does not work for all.

For example, I LOVE making my bed, coming home after a long day to a made bed brings me joy—something that I learned from that video I watched, but also something I already felt. On the other hand, my sister is happier getting those extra moments of sleep in the morning, and is cool as long as she's coming home to a bed.

Another example, waking up early is not for me, yet everything I've watched or read tells me that this will make me more motivated and happier. I wake up at a reasonable time every day for work, and even on the weekends, but waking up at 5am only makes me cranky, and I become more irritated than usual about the dirty dishes in the sink.

Photo by Cel Lisboa on Unsplash

I don't feel that being happy is something that another person can teach you, I think that you need to figure out what you like and who you enjoy spending your time with. Combine the two and there you go. Sure, focusing on self-care helps, but a face mask wont fix everything. I strongly feel that finding happiness is something that you must figure out on your own. Find joy in everything you do, but that is totally in your hands.

So, for me, happiness is coming home to a bed that's been made, ordering take-out, and laughing with someone at the end of a long day. I find joy in learning something new, my post-shower routine, or planning a trip. For you, happiness might be reading a good book, going out with friends, or spending a whole day in bed, but that's for you to decide.

happiness
Like

About the Creator

Caroline Bolibaugh

Caroline (Carley)

| 24 | artist | ravenclaw | social media manager | public relations specialist | promotions director | person |

Connect with me:

Personal Instagram: @clboli

Art Instagram: @clboli.art

Email: [email protected]

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.