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Everyone has New Year's resolutions. Most of the time, their resolution is never achieved, or they give up in a month or two. I have failed my resolutions for 2017. I wanted to lose weight, have a steady job, and have my own home. Yeah, the big dream I am sure many people out there want, as well. The problem is that, when we don't succeed at these goals, we tend to focus on the failure rather than the lessons we have learned during the struggle.
I'm sure everyone has a person they can never get along with, either because the person is too critical with them or just never takes the time to meet in the middle. Most of the time, that person is a member of their family. I have a situation like that in my family and it broke into a huge argument, which opened both of our eyes; realizing we are both too hard on each other. I believe we are now starting to build a bridge, trying to have a relationship strong enough to handle any earthquake—or at least that is where I am trying to reach this year. It's a hard war to battle, but as long as my mother and I meet in the middle and listen to each other, I know we will get there, and I am looking forward to that.
Not only did that event teach me that criticism is a two way street, it also taught me that family is worth the world. After the argument was settled, she and I have been spending more time together and learning so much more about one another. I also started building back the relationship I had with my sisters, to the point I feel like we were never separated when I moved out.
This year also was a quest with my fiancé. We had many bumpy roads, and we learned that the best way to beat every obstacle was to be open and communicate. Our biggest obstacle this year was our communication. We both were at fault, from misunderstanding one another to saying the wrong thing, meaning something completely different. We often held our stress away from one another, bottling it up until the top popped off. The way we fixed that was by scheduling 30 minute talks every day after dinner so we had enough time to think things over and actually know what was going on. He learned words hurt more than a smack in the face while I learned I can't expect him to know everything with out me opening up. We also learned that problems not only burden at times, but they always strengthen our relationship, and we must work as a team to make sure both parties are happy.
This year also taught me that I am a strong, smart, and, in my own special way, beautiful young woman. As I tried to lose weight and do everything on my goal list, I realized I was never happy at all while working for them. Why was that? I never knew until I realized I was demeaning and comparing myself to many other beautiful, skinny, healthier women. I wasn't trying to lose weight for myself, I was trying to lose weight so everyone could like me like they like the thinner women. David and I sat down about and talked about my feelings about myself and he's told me, "I don't care if you are thick or thin, you are beautiful as long as you are you and happy." I took that with a grain of salt, and this coming year, instead of losing weight to look good for people, I want to lose weight to have a healthier life, look nice for myself, and I will accomplish that because I love myself. No one should change themselves in order to love themselves, they should change because they do love themselves.
At the end of the day, you can only make a choice of change in your life if you want to and choose to. So goodbye, stressful 2017, hello to the new, improved 2018. Remember: every day is another chance to get to your goal. Happy new year, everyone.