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I have never been the best at writing and right now I am struggling to find words on what to say, but something has always driven me to enjoy the art of writing. I have always been big on reading and can often finish a whole book in one night if I put my mind to it. As a little girl, I would try writing and posting on an app called "Wattpad" where regular people (just like myself) can post stories or poems or anything they had a desire to write about. Whenever I would begin to write a story, I would doubt my ability to write and got discouraged because my stories were horrid compared to others.
I never felt as if I had a passion either. A lot of people I know grew up always saying, "I want to be a writer," "I want to be a doctor," "I want to be a foster care advocate" etc., while I was always stuck in my mind not really knowing what my TRUE passion was... or is. I still struggle to this day, wondering, thinking, planning for my future that I have no idea on the direction I want to take it.
Although I do enjoy doing a lot of things. I love to travel and learn about new cultures. I love to sing and listen to music. I love doing exercise and feeling the rush in my body while working out. But I am scared. The truth is I am scared to get out of what I feel will give me the best stability in life. I am scared to fail or being stuck in school changing my major many times and not ever feeling like I chose the right one.
Liberal Studies is my current major for college. This major can be used for different types of careers but the main one would be elementary school teaching. I thought that's what I wanted. I always think I choose correctly but I get into my head, overthink, and end up regretting my decision. Although I do not completely regret my choice of major, I do feel as if I would be best suited elsewhere. But where? Questions flood my head on whether this is the best career path for me.
Writing has always helped me release my emotions just like a dancer does through their choreographs, a painter with their canvas, a singer through the lyrics in their songs. But I always got discouraged because of the lack of my writing skills. I always found someone better, stronger with their words. I would blame myself for giving up by saying I never had time. Busy with school, soccer, homework, and keeping up with my social life and time with family was hard and I would forget to write—or so I would say. This was merely an excuse because I never thought I was good enough.
But this time I am going to try and write every day. Call it a New Years resolution (even though we are already halfway through the year) or a new lifestyle, but I want to push myself to be better as a person and a writer and writing every day will help me release any emotions built up like water being pumped into a water balloon that's ready to explode. Even if I fail horribly at writing every day, I want to at least write every week.
The blank page will be my canvas and my words and emotions portrayed through those words will be my art.
This is my first "story" on here and I am ready to begin my writing journey one where I will find myself, where I will discover my passion through the words that I will paint on this canvas.