Funemployment

Last December, I moved from London to my mum's house after quitting my freelance career in film. I moved with the goal of earning money to go traveling, but I’ve not yet bagged a job. I've been at my mum's for a couple of months and at least twice a week a friend or family member asks me if I've found a job. Every time I tell them I don't, I get a pang of embarrassment and disappointment right in the belly. I'm a pretty optimistic person but I can snap into some really dark feelings of self-doubt at the fact that I'm still unemployed. It bothers me a lot, and it bothers me how much it bothers me.

Even though I'm unemployed, I've been keeping myself busy to refrain from spending everyday horizontal on the sofa, binging true crime documentaries on Netflix (although many hours have been spent doing exactly that). I’ve been writing, reading, cooking, and doing more yoga. Catching up with friends and visiting my London dudes has kept me very busy too. Some evenings I've been sketching to wind down and improve my drawing skills. I took some pictures in my underwear one evening as reference photos to draw. They definitely are not the best drawings, but I very much recommend taking underwear pictures/nudes for self-confidence and self-appreciation. Specifically in unconventionally "flattering" poses, getting those tummy rolls rolling. Taking the time to acknowledge and find love in aspects of my body that society wants me to view as an insecurity is liberating as fuck. Anyway, I digress. With all this time I have on my hands, I've been making sure to maintain a routine, to help maintain my mental health. I'm someone who feels bored and cooped up easily when I'm at home a lot, and that can have a really negative effect on my mental health. I've found self-discipline is key to being a productive person, so here are some ways I practice that on a daily basis.

1. I always have an active to-do list on the go. Even if I have fuck all going on, I'll write myself a list of tasks. Crossing small goals off a list (like hoovering the house or posting a parcel) puts me in a productive mindset. Each little task done gives me a small bump of satisfaction and confidence, making me feel more capable to tackle larger and less appealing tasks.
2. Setting an alarm for 9 AM every morning wakes up my brain at the same time every day. I feel like waking up early helps me start the day with a productive and self-disciplined mindset.
3. I make sure to get dressed every day (well, most days), even if I don't go out. If I'm in clothes instead of cozies, I automatically feel like I can get shit done.
4. I'm trying to recognize that bed is for sleeping and only sleeping. I heard that using your bed solely to sleep in helps you fall asleep. Your brain will associate it with sleep and only sleep, making it easier for your brain to shut off at night.
5. Stretching and doing yoga helped me all of last year, but it's particularly important for me to practice it when my mental health is low. As well as the physical benefits, yoga gives me perspective and allows me to appreciate myself and my life. Fully recommend.

I'm so grateful for the house my mum lets me live in, the food she lets me eat, the support of everyone in my life. I'm thankful for how privileged I am, but unemployment is getting me down now more than ever. If you're in a similar position to me, know you're not at all alone. It might take a while for a job to come along but it will happen if you keep searching. I started this blog to keep myself creative and disciplined and it's been an incredible outlet for me to express myself. Stay productive and positive and good things will happen.