Freedom

Freedom, one word with so many meanings. Each of you had a fleeting thought when you saw that word, what it meant to you. Maybe to you it was that you just retired and the world is now your personal playground. Perhaps you just graduated and you have no classes to study for or tests to stress over.

It could be that you were just released from jail or prison. And now you are free with no more bars keeping you in place. Maybe you finally paid off your debt and have the excitement bubbling through your veins of the possibilities. Or, perhaps you are in the hospital and after nine long months just gave birth to a beautiful baby.

Whatever thought that word Freedom meant to you, and factually, I didn't even mention half of the possibilities, this is a story of what it means to me.

Freedom to me, at this point in my life, means letting go and letting God take the wheel.

I have been a Christian my whole life. I didn't say perfect, I said a Christian. Church, classes, baptism, not what I mean. I mean that I have given my life to Jesus, accepting him as my savior. I try, as all do, to live a good life and hope that God's light shines through me.

This, I fall short of on a daily basis. I have made many mistakes and some very bad choices so far in my life. I have learned a lot about myself in the past few years. And that is really what I believe life is all about. Learning how to be a better person.

I have learned to have no regrets in life or my past choices. This only means that I know I can not change the past, good or bad it is already gone. I know only that the past is meant to be a lesson, a learning tool, different to each individual.

The bad choices or decisions I have made in life, I am wise enough to know I can not change them, but hopefully I can grow from them and not repeat them.

Being aware of how short life actually is, I want to be and make others as happy as I can. I have had experiences so painful that if I shared them I could make a grown man cry. I know what it feels like to have my heart, which is full of love to give, torn from my body in a bloody mass.

While my girls were growing into adulthood and they wanted to watch a movie not so good to watch, I would simply say, "Imagine Jesus sitting next to you sharing your popcorn." Still want to watch the movie?

I said earlier I wanted God to take the wheel, because I am tired of trying to, here's that bad word, CONTROL. I tried to control people, events, my life really, in the past. I have learned, and grown to know, in the past three years, that I really have no control at all.

I do have control of how I react to things. That has made me a better person. This is what I have learned the past three years and it feels good. To release that drive to control people or outcomes, I have more peace in my life.

It is true, it is kind of scary to not know the "outcome" of situations. That is where my Trust and Faith come in. I know that I must fully put my trust and faith in God—he is the only being that unconditionally loves me. And I fully believe he has great things in store for my life.