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We all have failed some time in our lives....

Photo by: smithsonianmag

So where do I begin...

When your heart beats so fast and your palms start to sweat because your worried that you might fail your final exam.

Or you start pacing around the room undermining your ability to become good at something when you receive negative feedback on your paperwork.

I could go on, as failures come in many shapes and sizes. As human beings, we sometimes need validation to feel worthy and good about yourself. 

Sometimes failing in life can feel as if you have had several back blows to the chest. Also, you know deep down inside that you have worked so hard than ever before. The hard work and efforts are not enough to accomplish the end goal. Sometimes a setback might happen, which could knock your confidence in your abilities or skills to achieve better.

That is okay, I tell myself...

I have been knocked down so many times in my life where I've wanted to give up on myself and everything I have worked for. Instead, I had to take a deep breath and try to separate the negatives from the positives. It is not as easy to get back up after being knocked down several times. To be honest, it can be tough to move past failure. Maybe I was being stubborn about moving on. I mean, I am only human. However, we all crave validation in our successes, especially when most of your old school friends have met their goals. As people knew in my secondary school were working hard for their futures. I felt pity, emptiness, and mainly sadness every day when I was reminded of my faults, but most of all, I was going through the five stages of grief. 

I recently watched a film that referenced the five stages of grief. The concept was introduced by Kubler Ross. The five stages of grief were denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 

The Five Stages of Grief...

Practically a cartoon representation of the stages of grief. (I do not own this picture by the way) Image found on google

  1. Denial -  "No I am okay, everything is just fine..... That did not just happen to me"
  2. Anger  - "Why and How...... It is not my fault, I should not be blamed for this, I have wasted so much time".
  3. Bargaining "You know what... it is going to be okay because I can turn this around by doing this..."
  4. Depression - "Everybody is doing so well in life but me... Maybe I should accept I will never a accomplish anything."
  5. Acceptance - To be honest I may have failed, but I can learn from my experience.

Initially, the five stages of grief are supposed to link to losing someone close to you. However, you can use this in different experiences you may go through in life.

After the many stages of grief, I thought, to be honest, I can move on. You are probably thinking,"move on?" Why I would want to move on so quickly? Moving on means being able to keep going and developing yourself instead of moping around on the past failure (This is also advice for myself, as no one is perfect). 

I also realised that my setback was just the beginning towards my goal/success. Additionally, everyone around me (friends and family) have their own purposes of meeting their end goal. Some may reach the end goal before you. It is not a race! just a journey where you can learn and explore more, each and every step of the way.

Failures are somehow a way of becoming successful, but can be hard to see at first. I guess with time and patience, you will gradually see the outcomes to your desired goals in life.

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