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Evening Thoughts

What's the point?

By Sara DavisPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Sometimes I wonder what w'ere all doing here. We are just placed on this earth. Some of us have more freedom than others. Some of us born into rich families, others born into poor. Growing up and being in the real adult world can be shocking and exhausting. Sometimes even humanity surprises me and I don't think I can take it anymore, whereas other times I can be purely inspired by stories and kindness seen from people. Life and career just seems like a rollercoaster, all the time. Sometimes when it actually feels good and happy, something backfires only to reveal that it was too good to be true. What is the point? I don't get it.

Going to work most of the day, coming home, killing the littlest of time we have by watching Netflix before bed. Trying to stay motivated to get through the week, only to go to work and do it all over again. How tiring. Not only physically, but especially in the mind and trying to keep same. What is the point? I don't get it.

Maybe the pessimist inside of me is coming out, but I am just so tired. Day in and day out of unappreciated work we do each week—for what? I do the same boring work everyday, just to make rent and pay off student loans, which I'm barely using my degree. I think the most frustrating thing is that I don't even have the energy to do what I love after work because I'm so drained emotionally. Does it ever change? What is the point? I don't get it.

I earned my Bachelor's of Art degree in Art for the sole purpose of living my career, instead of resenting it. But to make ends meet, I still ended up with an office job. The worst part about the job is the commute. Portland is getting worse and worse with everyone moving here. I am constantly late to work because I get stuck on highway 217. What is the point? I don't get it.

They say only YOU can change YOUR life. I agree. Don't get me wrong, I am truly grateful for everything I have and for even having a job in general. I just wish my daily applying to other jobs nearby would actually paid off. With rent increases practically every six months, it is impossible to accept any sort of pay cut, even if was down the street. I understand staying positive really does help the mood and that I should not complain. But how is it so difficult to make your dreams come true? I went to school to avoid hating my job down the road, yet, here I am. Why? Even when you try really hard and consistently work on it? Am I not worthy? Is it bad luck? Does the universe just think I'm not working hard enough? What is the point? I don't get it.

Well, I hope to prove the universe wrong. I know I am not alone in feeling this way. Some majors and careers are much more challenging to obtain than others, especially when it consists of being majorly independent, versus working your way up to a title or in the company itself. But whatever it is, hard work is hard work. With every difficult thing life throws at me, I am still staying persistent and my perseverance. I will get there one way or another, whether I have lots of support or just one person who believes in me—because I believe in me. Regardless of luck, I know that I am worthy, hardworking, and working on the future chapters to get there.

self help
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About the Creator

Sara Davis

Fine Artist & Graphic Designer from Oregon. Other passions include journaling, fitness, hiking, beauty, food, fashion, music/concerts, and many more. I love so much so I figure, why not write about them?

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