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Escape Your Thoughts

How Thinking Is Stopping You from Having the Most Amazing Moments of Your Life

By Milad HussinPublished 6 years ago 12 min read
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Ladies and gentlemen let me start this piece by giving thanks. Thank whatever you believe in, if you believe in nothing, then thank nothing for we have everything. Giving thanks for we have everything, yet we tend to appreciate nothing. In my latest trip I went from one of the wealthiest countries in the world to one of the poorest and despite seeing people in such poor conditions, I’m ashamed to say I’m not content. The world is a funny place where most of us serve others only when we believe to be serving ourselves. The grass always seems to be greener somewhere else.

My trip started at an airport where at passport control a man had gotten unwell and collapsed. It blew my mind to see that hundreds of people watched this man hit the floor and lie there, yet no one acted to help as they were so tensed up for having their identity checks and were only thinking of passing the line to get to their flight.

I had to walk from the back of the line all the way to front so that I could signal the officer that this man had collapsed, all the while getting cursed at because I was "cutting the line."

Amazingly enough, when I reached the gate to my flight and was just sitting there waiting to board the plane, the man that had collapsed sat next to me. He was a 52 year old pilot on vacation. I recognized him, we had a chat and he thanked me for the assistance earlier. This man that has helped hundreds of thousands of people travel and reach their destinations safely, who literally had their lives in his hands, had only one person to act when he needed help the most.

And this is the hang up, this is the hang up that human beings struggle with. For hundreds of years we search for happiness yet we come up empty.

Humanity in the modern world only seems to serves others, when its goal is to help ourselves. We believe it to be so beautiful when someone volunteers to go to a 3rd world country to build a school and help a community thrive. But in actuality we do this because it makes us feel good. The reason to do good comes from selfishness.

Strangely enough the first day of my trip in the Philippines I was riding to a beach called Nacpan, on an island where the majority of the people are poor. Kids around sixteen to nineteen years old were working on the roads. Now I know how to ride a motorcycle but I’ve never been off-road on a touring bike. So I crashed quite hard where these kids were working on the road. Now I as a foreigner I was helped not by one, but by a multitude of people. They rushed over, pulled me up, and pulled my bike up. My money was on the ground and so was my expensive camera equipment. They sat me down, packed my bag for me, everything was there, intact and complete. They cleaned my hands and knees that were cut open by the fall, they bandaged and took care of me. These kids left their job, the thing that feeds them and their families, to help a stranger who is clearly wealthier than they are.

I took a picture with them and handed out my bottles of water. Their day was filled with laughter just because I gave them my time and took a photo with them. I felt at home, at ease, in comfort, happy while being half way across the world. Than it hit me, these people who seem to have nothing, seem to be happy.

Now why is it, that these people can drop everything to help a stranger, while most people in the West can’t?

Why is giving so much harder to people who have everything? Is it because we tell ourselves we worked hard to get it? Because I can assure you, these kids work hard as well yet they don’t have half of what we have. I wish everyone could see the places I’ve been to. To figure out what it means to have a roof, fresh water, clean nutrition, safety, comfort, electricity, and other things we tend to see as standard in the modern world.

Granted I’m visiting for fun, yet every time I travel I find enlightenment. I find pieces of my humanity, pieces of love for other human beings, pieces of my instinct on how to survive without the modern rules of society and equipment.

Don’t get me wrong, I love technology and I am by no means a backpacker. I prefer hotels over hostels. I like my showers warm. I love my thick and comfy matress.

But what I seem to love the most is feeling the loss of it every once in a while. So that I can be reminded of how blessed I am to be able to experience both worlds. To have a successful corporate career, to have my multiple masters degrees. To be able to make a six figure salary all the while still having enough time to experience all that I’m experiencing.

On this same trip, I had another experience, one that is very rare nowadays. One that is extremely rare for my generation. I shared a moment in time with an amazing girl, without getting laid.

I know right how is that even possible?!

She had been travelling for a while through South East Asia. I was at a bar where I had just met some locals who turned out to be amazing people that plan to visit me in hometown next month. They were trying to get me to hook up all evening but I wasn’t going for it, I just wanted to relax from an intense day.

Suddenly she walks in. Tanned sexy brunette with light eyes in shorts and a top. Very natural looking beauty, with no makeup on. The type of girl that gets me. I instantly asked my new found friends who she was, since they seemed to know each other. Then I caught her smiling at me, a very sweet smile, but with a hint of come and get me, I smiled back and in my head I was only thinking: SWEET JESUS HALLELUJAA give me some of that please. A selfish thought without even considering her personality, likes, dislikes, or if she even wanted me to approach her. I just set a goal and embarked on my mission purely based on how she looked I had decided to go for it.

As the night progressed and I was dancing with her and having small talk, I realized that this girl was more than just a very pretty natural face. Obviously everyone has a personality but she seemed to be so carefree and open. A free spirit if you will. She was challenging me, something quite new for me. Saying things like "oh the waitress saved me from dancing with you when she got pulled away to pay the bill.” It does not happen often that a girl initiates a kiss, I usually have to take lead in such matters. It was a little peck on the lips but this got me thinking I would like to know more about you.

While we were dancing, she had taken of her slippers to be able to move more comfortably and her slippers had gotten stolen for the third time on her trip, she left the bar quite annoyed. And that was that. I thought she was gone, accepted the situation for what it was and moved on with my night.

Me and my friends went to get pizza, I was bummed as I thought I wouldn’t see her again. I was intrigued by her way of being and wanted to know more. Then I saw her alone, walking back to the beach bar we were in earlier. Now I know she had a couple of a drinks so I went over to make sure she was alright and not lost or something.

While walking towards her I told myself, practice what you preach. I went over to help without thinking of self-gain or having set a goal. I purely went over to check up on a stranger to see if she’s alright. That’s when the magic happened. She explained she was going to look for her slippers so I offered to walk along and help but before we even left the spot we were kissing. It blew my mind, the way this kiss felt. I can’t speak for her but for me it was a sensation that shot through my entire being. I had gotten something by not wanting anything, by letting it go of my earlier thoughts. I was just there letting it happen and not thinking of other things. By just being in that moment, not thinking on how to proceed from there.

We ended up not looking for slippers and she joined me having pizza instead. Afterwards we walked towards the beach and laid on the sand floor watching the stars and a lightning storm. Making out passionately in between sessions of silence, which were comfortable instead of awkward. And this is when it hit me, my goal had shifted. Instead of wanting her in my bed, my goal was to just enjoy my unfortunately limited time with this person. Something people from my generation seem incapable of doing. It completely changed the dynamics of interaction for me. I wasn’t thinking of how to proceed, or what the next step would be.

However it didn’t bother me that this was the case. I was just grateful that she was there with me. I was grateful for the experience I just had and was still having. We talked about life. We danced to music played on our phones, we sang songs together and for each other, we laughed, we joked around and in between we would dive back into making out all on the beach while a storm was above our heads. We spent hours like this. The time passed as if it was just 10 minutes but it had lasted 3 to 4 hours. By letting go of what I wanted earlier, by letting go of my “goal” and being out come independent, I had the most amazing night of my trip. I just shared time with another person. Just by being there and not thinking of my personal wants and needs suddenly I was filled with joy. I couldn’t careless what was going to happen next I just wanted to enjoy these moments. I let go of thinking of what should happen next as I was not in control anyways. Then again, are we ever really in control?

This girl who I had just met gave me most amazing night I’ve had on a trip just by being there. By being present and sharing her time with me. I thank her for giving me that experience, and teaching me this valuable lesson. By putting aside my own desires, and thoughts I managed to feel like a child again. Where I would just have fun and not care about what happens in the next couple of hours, where I wouldn’t care about what came next. Where I was carefree and was just having fun with whatever was there to have fun with.

Somehow when we grow up we forget to have fun and we forget to cherish the process. We just rush through moments because we think we are running out of time. We only have the end result in mind and not the amazing times in between. We all want that promotion at work within 3 months. We take the car, we want to get laid on the first night. We want and want and want, nothing is fast enough, instead of just making the most out of the valuable time we have. Enjoying the process to the end result which makes it so much sweeter when you’ve put effort and time into a goal or other human being. Perhaps this is the reason my parents and their generation have less divorces than nowadays. Because of phones and apps, we put less effort into people. The offer is greater in addition to being easier to reach, we replace instead of fix. People are only a text message away. We are the only organism on this planet that actually monitors time and quit/stop putting effort into something if it takes too long or think it’s a waste rather than going through the joy of the process.

I say "think it’s a waste,” because is time ever wasted? It’s going to pass by anyway, no matter what you are doing. Every second we breathe is a blessing we should embrace. Life is like a fragile ripple in the water the slightest thing can destroy and break the perfect circle shape of a ripple. It’s such a shame that we seem to squeeze the life out of ourselves because of this concept called time.

Next time you’re around someone and you feel a sort of connection, just stop thinking. Just be there, be present, and let it happen. Don’t think about your next move or what to say next to proceed faster to what you want or desire. For me the experience reminded me to be careless like a child again, it filled me with joy with happiness. By not being selfish and going over to help without any self-gain in mind, I suddenly found the answer I started this piece with. We seem to help from self-gain, hence we aren’t ever satisfied as we plan an outcome and it never turns out like we think it will in our head. We have expectations that will never see the light of day as the way we picture in our heads hardly ever is how reality turns out to be. In my case I saw a girl that might have been in trouble and just by asking her if she was okay and needed help, I had an experience that I won’t forget anytime soon.

A piece of the puzzle I call life was set for me in this trip. Stop doing "good" out of self-gain. Help others even if you don’t want to. Help others when it bothers you. More importantly be grateful, because when you are, when you appreciate others and other things around you, you will suddenly find yourself with a warm and peaceful feeling.

Appreciate the process, escape your own mind and thoughts, for the pleasure on the other side, outside of your mind is the truly blissful.

happiness
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About the Creator

Milad Hussin

Hi there!

Just a young man figuring out life while travelling and sharing stories.

https://www.instagram.com/miladhussin/

For business inquiries: [email protected]

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